Ron Swanson is like any other college student: he loves breakfast food and disagrees with the government. The way Ron goes through life not giving any care to what people think and making every decision on his own terms is admirable to any young person still finding their place in this world.
It’s no surprise then that yet again we can relate to good ole Mr. Swanson to successfully depict a typical night out at college. Please enjoy with a smooth glass of whiskey and a full plate of meat.
1. You realize it’s the weekend
So long 8 am classes, ta ta library cubicles. Tonight there are no responsibilities, no homework, and no ragrets.
2. Deciding what parties to attend
Your friends debate starting at the kegger for the club rugby team or one of the three 21st birthday parties going on. You personally don’t care because, well, alcohol.
#SpoonTip: bring these shots for an extra festive treat
3. Picking out your outfit
It took you throwing all of the contents of your closet onto the floor for you to just decide on the same top you wear every weekend.
4. Picking your poison
5. Commence the pregame
Open up the
champagne Natty Light…POP. If you’re not playing these drinking games, you’re doing it wrong.
6. Preparing for the commute to the first party
The first party is on the opposite side of campus, it’s 30 degrees, and your beer jacket isn’t quite on yet. Another round of shots, anybody?
7. Talking to the opposite sex
Your friend is too nervous to talk to the cute guy in her psych class so you give her some advice.
8. Rating the party
Let’s be real: fewer randos and more chips at every party is always the ideal situation.
#SpoonTip: bring your own snacks to amp up any party you go to.
9. More of your friends finally arrive
The excitement is so high you might as well be reuniting after months apart, even if it was only after 20 minutes.
10. Ending up in an uncomfortable conversation
It all happened so fast. What was an innocent conversation about cafeteria food with an acquaintance turned into a monologue about somebody’s ex or worse…Trump.
11. Your favorite song comes on
Shake your groove thang, shake your groove thang, YEAH YEAH.
12. Slipping on a pool of cheap beer
You went a little too hard on the dance floor, but can they blame you when your jam is on? Also, who put that beer there? Everyone swarms around you, which causes way more of a scene than necessary.
13. Finally looking in the mirror and looking something like this
You really don’t realize how drunk you are until you’re in the bathroom looking at yourself in the mirror. Horrified, you wonder if you actually looked like this the whole night.
14. One of your friends starts to drunk text
Loose fingers can be perfectly harmless (and hilarious) or detrimental for everyone involved.
15. You promptly put an end to the situation
Most likely necessary to confiscate their phone because there is no reason for anybody to text their grandma about how much they love the socks she sent them for their birthday at 2 am.
16. The drunchies begin to kick in
One can only party so long before it is time to refuel. Drunchies are a menace.
17. Entering your favorite late night eatery like you own the place
You’ve done this once or twice before and you are certainly not messing around.
18. Waking up the next morning
Is my bed moving? Oh, just my head? OK.
20. Seeing the photos from last night
Your friends do not miss a beat when it comes to posting on social media. Everything you thought was flattering last night has a more troll-like feature that no amount of filters could fix.
21. Recapping the night with your friends
You may wince at some stories they have about you but you wouldn’t change the night for anything.