So you’ve been diagnosed with celiac disease or a gluten intolerance. You learn to overcome the stomach aches, the headaches and the other autoimmune diseases attached with it. Just when you thought you’ve mastered the gluten-free life, your parents ship you off to college. Leaving you to fend for yourself in this grand world we live in.
1. You get overly excited when the dining hall has rice or potatoes
A nice break from your salad for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
2. Your friends keep apologizing for eating gluten in front of you
It’s too late to say “I’m sorry” now.
3. You ask for gluten-free bread and the waiter gives you whole wheat instead
He should be arrested for attempted murder.
4. When people say “I don’t have an allergy, but I keep gluten-free too”
*Spoiler alert* Unless you are allergic, cutting out gluten does not offer any added health benefits.
5. You’re completely under control until you see the words “contains: wheat” and just lose it
Why licorice, why?
6. You get a little carried away at the pregame because frats only have beer
Don’t worry, they’ll catch up to you eventually.
7. Awkwardly asking someone if they drank beer tonight before letting them kiss you
Cross contamination is a very real thing.
8. When all your friends are drunk eating pizza and offer you a slice
No thanks, I’m good with my dry cookies and flavorless crackers.
9. When your hungover friends go for bagels the next morning and leave you behind
But you get to sleep longer and eat Chex straight from the box, so who’s the real winner?
10. Realizing you can’t afford groceries because “gluten-free” means the product is 3x more expensive
Our spring break diet is year round.