Whether you're a die-hard Whole Foods-goer, or can't bring yourself to step foot inside the sometimes outrageously-priced health food haven, you know a "WTF" Whole Foods product when you see it.
As a frequenter of Whole Foods, I understand the struggle of seeing a ridiculous food product on the shelves and not knowing whether to laugh at it or throw it in my basket. Rather than let the hilarity go to waste, I have compiled the most "WTF" Whole Foods products I found during my shopping trip for the sake of entertainment.
1. Veganic Sprouted Ancient Maize Flakes
First of all, I do not want to eat anything that has "ancient" in the name. Second, is "veganic" even a word? C'mon, Whole Foods, stop trying to be fancy—we know they're just corn flakes.
2. Boxed Water
Whole Foods has an alarmingly large variety of bottled water. There's water with *extra* electrolytes, water in glass bottles (again, stop trying to be so fancy), and then there's Boxed Water.
Not only will I never understand the kale craze, I will never understand why Whole Foods thought it would be a good idea to ruin perfectly good guac?!
Side note: If you are paying $8.99 for kale-infused guacamole, you seriously need to re-evaluate your life choices.
4. Beef Tallow
"I could really use some Beef Tallow right about now!" - said no one ever. I didn't realize any of the products above could be bought at a grocery store before shopping at Whole Foods, and in typical Whole Foods fashion, even the animal fats are sold in pretty glass jars.
5. Pumpkin Spice Latte-Flavored Beer
I imagine this is what "basic white girls" drink at parties because with fall's arrival comes the need for everything pumpkin-flavored. Although I am a believer in all things pumpkin, Whole Foods has gone too far this time.
6. Kelp Granules
In case people want a reason for their seafood dinner to taste even more like the ocean (not sure why they would), there's Kelp Granules. This sounds like something that would only exist in the Spongebob Squarepants world of Bikini Bottom, but alas, it is sold at Whole Foods.
7. Edible Flowers
Normally, when your food is described as "garden fresh," it's a good thing. However, when that "garden fresh" food is actually just a flower, you've made a mistake.
Though I will admit that adding these Edible Flowers to your meal will make them 100% more Insta-worthy.
8. Tea Cocktail Mix
The concept of this product is an interesting one. I suppose if you want to get tipsy at a tea party then this is the drink for you. But why is it in large, chalkboard-painted glass jugs? Whole Foods better rethink putting this product on a high shelf.
9. Kale Littles
Again, Whole Foods, STOP SELLING SO MANY KALE PRODUCTS. I'm not completely sure what these "Kale Littles" are supposed to be disguised as. Chicken nuggets? Mushy bear-shaped salad? No thanks, Whole Foods.
10. Elderflower-Infused Drinks
Besides the pretty packaging, I cannot think of a single reason anyone would buy this product. Have you ever heard someone say, "Ooh, I have a taste for some elderflower lemonade?" No.
I think we all can agree that for the most part, Whole Foods is basically a gift to the world. The majority of their products are different and delicious, but those mentioned on this list are simply too bizarre to be bought.