St Andrews students are known for many things: pier walks, champagne pranks, and unhinged foam fights. Yes, those things all matter to our collective “St Andrews identities,” but that’s stuff any prospective fresher can find out on an open day. We’re here to talk bid’ness about the serious stuff, and that’s our love for two things: Yeezy (Mr Kanye West) and pablos.
What the heck is a pablo, you may ask? A deliciously deadly concoction that is a mix of blue and sometimes green, yellow, or purple WKD and vodka. A Union specialty (but every single bar in town definitely knows what this is, no question), and absolutely essential to any night out or Sinners event, they have somehow not extended further beyond the Bubble (hence, the best kept secret in St Andrews). If you’re looking for a St Andrews bar serving pablos, look no further here.
But a group of St Andrews students are looking to change all that, leaping at the chance to create a petition asking Kanye West to perform his new album “The Life of Pablo” for us pablo lovers, because what an opportunity (for he and for us) that would seriously be.
Written by the aptly named Stan Drews (get it?), the petition calls for Yeezy to sample some of his new and old tunes at a university that views pablos as its “7th food group.” In return, students are offering “our red gowns and a walk on the pier [and] some other hundreds-of-years-old traditions just for giggles.” Because, as the petition claims, there really is “no better place to celebrate Pablo and his life” than in St Andrews.
The petition has been a remarkable success (and here at Spoon, we gotta say we’ve been a big part of that, mobilizing our members just because that’s what we do, of course), but Kanye is still a distant dream. For one, if we even want to get Yeezy’s attention, we probably have to go way above the 100 signature quota. However, we did get Azeem, and he’s basically as famous as Kanye, right??
The biggest issue is the lack of awareness, considering obviously the word hasn’t spread quickly enough (which is a problem we’re rectifying with this post). St Andrews Yik Yak exploded with positive comments to the chance of a potential Yeezy concert with one Yakker remarking “If Kanye performs in St Andrews, that will make this entire semester worth of rejection and failure livable.” Um, not sure if that’s the best way to judge a semester by, but you continue to do you, St Andrews Yik Yak (we’ve already established that you do strange things, including eat gross things here).
Even though this petition is pretty much a joke, it would be a shame — nay, an outrage — if we didn’t take advantage of Spoon and share it, just a bit. I mean, Prez Obama, Hillary Clinton (’cause she’s an honorary grad of St Andrews, ya know), Prez nominee Bernie Sanders, and our fav celebrity everyone loves to hate, Kim K, are singled out to answer to the call of Yeezy (PREACH!). I have literally never pictured anything as funny as 74-year old Bernie #Feelthebern Sanders rockin’ out to “Gold Digger” next to North West (I mean, we even made a post about foods that are soft enough for him to eat).
But don’t give up, my peeps. All of this and more could happen if we just spread the word of Yeezus. A hundred signatures are definitely not even a blip on Kanye’s radar right now, so if you’re super passionate about him performing, you better sign n’ share right away. (PS, we’re flashin’ back to when Kanye wanted to run for Prez, and it’s pretty funny.)
And oh, yeah, just in case you missed the petition train, we’ve got the link for you right here. We’re kinda, sorta begging you to sign, too (#BringYeezy2k16).