It’s summer, and you are funemployed, which means you are also broke. You didn’t get an internship or a job because you lack “previous experience.” You could sell lemonade to make some extra cash. But why set up a lemonade stand when you could set up a banana stand?
In Arrested Development, the frozen banana stand keeps the family’s business afloat. So it should be able to help you make some money this summer, right? Here are a few tips from the Bluth’s to help you run your very own banana stand this summer.
Take Charge (Recklessly)
The Bluths know how to blindly take control, particularly when they know basically nothing about running the business. So, as soon as you open up your banana stand, be sure that the entire boardwalk knows that you are in charge. Let all of the power go to your head, because that just how the Bluths do business. And now you, Mr. Manager.
Don’t Know the Product
Too much knowledge is seen as a weakness, and as an owner you cannot be weak. You’ve got a business to run and you don’t have time for the nitty-gritty details, so let your subordinates worry about banana costs, dealing with customers and actually making the bananas.
Bend the Truth
If you’re going to be a Bluth, bending the truth is important. You cannot run a business if you’re going to be honest all of the time – what the investors and customers don’t know won’t hurt them.
Hire an Unreliable Staff
You want a staff that stands out from the rest – people who turned down their internships to work for you. Also, hire staff members you know personally, such as family members and recently paroled arsonists.
Fight Off Competition
A banana stand is a great way to make extra cash, so of course people are going copy your idea. If you’re going to run a successful banana stand, you’re going to have to be aggressive when it comes to fighting off competition. Make sure you are the Top Banana.
Keep Track of Finances
If you want to succeed, remember where you put every single penny. And remember, there’s always money in the banana stand…