With the hypnotizing coffeehouse jams and killer mood lighting, waiting in line at your campus Starbucks can be an almost visceral experience. Though the coffee sellers built their business on creating a laid-back, cozy atmosphere for its customers, learning these dirty Starbucks secrets might make you feel a little less comfortable.

A recent Spoon article goes over all the ingredients in the ‘healthier’ Starbucks drinks. Taking into account sugar content, artificial flavoring, cholesterol and fat content, I gathered a list of the worst offenders on that dimly-lit menu as well.

With summer right around the corner, you’re gonna want to watch out for these artery-clogging, ass-enlarging Starbucks specialties and I have provided some healthier SpoonU solutions.

Caramel Brûlée Latte

starbucks

Photo by Lauren Murray

With 580 calories, 13 grams of fat, and 50mg of cholesterol, the Caramel Brûlée Latte shows little resemblance to an actual cup of coffee. The fact that you would need to take an intense, 90-minute spin class to burn this baby off shows that if your consistent drink order has the name of a dessert in it, run fast and far away.

Have an extra 6 minutes before class? Try making a healthier version of a caramel latte at home.

Chai Tea Latte

starbucks

Photo by Lauren Murray

Though the chai tea latte may sound like a healthy way to start your day, this innocent-sounding beverage contains 340 calories. That’s as much as Taco Bell’s Double Decker Taco Surpreme. Although this menu item can seem more savory than sweet, a grande still contains more sugar than a king-sized Kit-Kat bar. No, thank you.

Just because this drink is a dud doesn’t mean that you have to give up your morning chai. Check out these recipes that also use your favorite Indian spice.

Green Tea Soy Latte

starbucks

Photo by Lauren Murray

Though there are many health benefits to green tea, the nutrition facts on the green tea soy latte will probably make you rethink getting what you thought was a healthy alternative to a morning coffee.

Though it has healthy-sounding words like “green tea” and “soy” in the name, Teavana’s new offender has more carbs than a Bacon Clubhouse Burger from McDonald’s.

Double Chocolaty Chip Creme Frappuccino

starbucks

Photo by Lauren Murray

Chocolate lovers, beware. A frappe may seem like an enjoyable companion for a spring afternoon spent lounging on the quad, but with 55mg of cholesterol, you might as well swap this chocolate-on-chocolate disaster for a 6-piece bucket of fried chicken from KFC.

Still craving a chilly chocolate fix? Try this simple, 4-ingredient chocolate ice cream.

Pumpkin Spice Latte

starbucks

Photo by Lauren Murray

The notorious Pumpkin Spice Latte has made its way onto the year-round menu, but is still as unhealthy as ever. Advertised on Starbucks’s website as having “real pumpkin pie spices”, the fall treat is infested with Carmel Color Level IV, allergy-causing preservatives, GMOs, and possible pesticide residue. Don’t believe me? Check this out.

Still in love with the PSL after seeing these staggering stats? Fear not, this homemade version is a satisfying, yet heathy alternative.

Still faithful to Starbucks? Why not read more?