I remember the very first time I ate a pickle. That’s how much of an event it was. The moment I tossed one in my mouth, I knew my life would be changed forever.
Why do I have trust issues with you pickle haters? Well, for starters, pickles are too awesome to hate, not to mention easy on the taste buds. Here are some reasons why pickles are basically the best and you awful, atrocious pickle haters aren’t to be trusted.
1. The pickle is the cucumber’s cooler cousin.
Let’s face it. Cucumbers are boring. They’re bland, tasteless, and totally out of style. By spicing it up with some pickling, you get the cucumber’s cool cousin, the pickle. The pickle adds savory taste and pizzazz to a once boring vegetable. If you’d rather hang around with a boring dull cucumber, then be my guest. I’ll be sitting at the cool kids’ table with the pickle.
2. Pickles can be sour, sweet, fried, sliced, big, small, and more.
Almost anyway you want it, you can have it. If you like a crunchy texture then have a fried pickle like these. If you like more sugary foods, then have a sweet pickle. If you like everything bitter, then have a sour pickle, and so on. There’s pretty much a pickle out there for everyone, so you haters don’t have an excuse.
3. Pickles are an ancient delicacy.
If you don’t like pickles, you’re totally behind the times because these puppies are embedded in rich history. According to the NY Food Museum, pickles date back to 2400 BC with the Mesopotamians. You don’t mess with the past.
4. Cleopatra attributed her beauty to a hearty diet of pickles.
Ever see how beautiful Cleopatra was? GORGEOUS. Did you ever wonder why? Well, if you asked her yourself she’d say, “Pickles and more pickles.” Ancient sources claimed that pickles had beauty enhancing qualities as well as many nutritional benefits. Do you not want to be pretty?
5. Pickles compliment a sandwich perfectly.
And almost anything for that matter. Hot dogs, burgers, cupcakes, pizza, and even alcohol. Although I love eating a pickle by itself, add it to a meal or snack and your food is automatically enhanced. Try this cuban panini for your next lunch and talk to me again.
6. If it weren’t for pickles, Christopher Columbus may have never discovered America.
That’s right, pickle lovers discovered America. On his voyage to America, Columbus rationed pickles in order to prevent his troops from getting scurvy. He even made a pit stop at Haiti to pickle more cucumbers on his way to America. A diss to a pickle is a diss to America.
7. There are parades for pickles.
Mansfield is the Pickle capital of Texas and they have an Annual World’s Only Pickle Parade & Palooza on March 12-14. The Pickle Parade includes food, beer, a pickle playground, pickle juice drinking, and even a pickle-eating contest.
8. There is a national day dedicated to pickles.
November 14 is officially National Pickle Day (look it up, I’m not kidding). The first Pickle Day was celebrated in New York City in 2001. Do you have a national day dedicated to you? Didn’t think so. That being said, pickles are way better than you haters.
9. Napoleon was a huge fan of pickles.
Napoleon Bonaparte believed pickles were integral for the health of his troops. He loved pickles so much that he put up the equivalent of $250,000 as a prize to whoever could figure out the best way to pickle and preserve foods for his troops. He was once one of the most powerful people of the world, so I’d take his judgment over you pickle haters any day.
10. One pickle is only 16 calories.
And fat free! Binge eating pickles is a guilt free activity that I’d gladly participate in any day of the week so that’s a win in my book.
11. Pickles are high in vitamin K.
Vitamin K is very important for the blood clotting process in your body as well as bone support and protecting blood cells, veins and arteries. Don’t even try to say pickles are bad for you.
12. Mason jars were created for pickles.
You know those trendy, pretty mason jars that everyone seems to love? Well they were originally created as a design to hold the thickness and weight of pickles. If it weren’t for pickles, Pinterest would have severely less craft ideas.
13. Pickles are scientifically proven to make you happier.
Well, that one I may have made up. But if you aren’t happier when you plop a delicious pickle in your mouth, I definitely cannot trust your judgment.
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