It's late and the dining halls close. Stomachs rumble, and roomies exchange wary looks. There is the silent question of who will be waging war tonight between their stomach and their brain.
Now, I can't say I'm sure if it's just a millennial thing or if everyone feels like Michael Cera at a social function when trying to speak on the phone, but there is an undeniable panic that sets in the second someone says, "hey, order us a pizza!"Let us take a look at the grueling steps of getting yourself some G.D. takeout.
1. DenialI'm not even that hungry. I ate too many calories today. Pizza is overrated.
It's totally not because you're scared to order the food, it's because you simply don't want any. Who even likes takeout anyway? Certainly. Not. Me.
2. AngerWhy do the dining halls close so stupidly early? I don't want to be the one who orders. The food from there isn't even that good.
What kind of takeout place doesn't have an online ordering option? What is this, the stone age? I'm two seconds away from leaving a bad Yelp review.
3. BargainingI promise I'll order the food next time if you do it this time! *Roommates frantically tossing phone back and forth* If only I had eaten more at dinner this wouldn't have happened. Are you there, God? It's me, Dana. I'll never eat my pizza with a knife and fork again if you just convince my roommate to order this food for me. Forgive my sins.
4. DepressionNooooooooooooo. NoOOoOOoOOOOooo. No.
I don't want to do it. I will lay here with this phone in my hand for an hour if I have to. Why me?
5. AcceptanceFine. I'm going to do it. I am a strong independent woman who don't need no anxiety. I'm just going to get this over with. Honestly, I just have to hit call. This is just not that big of a deal. I can do this. I am a grown ass adult. "Hi, this is Dominos, what can I do for you today?
There's always next time.