If you have a slightly perverse sense of humor, find yourself getting caught in numerous awkward situations (like myself), and love using the most cliché puns ever, then you probably watch the Fox sitcom, New Girl. Whether it’s Schmidt’s outlandish antics to win Cece back, Winston’s obsession with his ex-girlfriend’s cat, or Jess’s love for all things sparkly, colorful and fluffy, New Girl never fails to produce tear-inducing laughs…well at least for me.
Because of my uncontrollable love for the show, I found it fitting to figure out what each character would be if he or she were food. As you can probably guess, these foods are just as quirky as their New Girl equivalents.
1. Jess – Red Velvet Cupcake
As the only girl in the apartment, Jess is always looking out for her boys. Like a red velvet cupcake, she is classy (well, sometimes) and undeniably sweet.
2. Nick – Roast Beef Sandwich
A juicy, messy roast beef sandwich gets to the essence of a true man. Nick exudes manliness, but in his own special way. Nick may not shower on a regular basis or pay his taxes, but he sure knows how to hold his liquor and master the art of seduction.
3. Winston – A Doughnut
Besides being a cop and having a natural love for doughnuts, Winston is sweet and mushy like one too. Unlike his other male roommates, he’s not afraid to show his emotional side.
4. Schmidt – Artisanal Cheese Platter
Like an artisanal cheese platter, Schmidt is about as bougie and cliché as it gets. Yet, there’s something about them both that keeps you coming back for more.
5. Cece – Starfruit
Hard on the outside but sweet on the inside, Cece is just like a starfruit. Upon first meeting, you might think Cece is a bit intimidating. Once you get to know her, however, you find that she is one of the sweetest, most loyal friends around.
6. Coach – Protein Bar
Whether he’s your personal trainer or your gym teacher, be prepared for Coach to give you the workout of your nightmares. Coach means business, and he has no time to mess around with unhealthy meals. Protein bars are the way to go.
Now that I’ve got you both hungry and wanting a good laugh, I encourage you to sit down with your favorite snack and binge watch some New Girl.