With the end of the semester quickly approaching, the mere mention of the holidays and Christmas break makes college students fantasize about sleeping in, having our laundry done for us, and stuffing ourselves with real, home-cooked meals.
These breaks are the light at the end of the tunnel for us. Nothing could stand in the way between us and a few weeks of pure, unadulterated laziness. Nothing except the dreaded family parties.
Lucky for me, I’ve been #blessed with a pretty cool extended family and therefore, have dealt with the wrath of weird family holiday parties, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t heard my fair share of family party holiday stories from friends.
Out of the kindness of my own heart, I have created a special holiday drinking game for those of you who get dragged to awful parties each year. All you need is yourself and a bottle of your choosing (and maybe some cousins and siblings who are suffering equally as much). Cheers.
First, take a shot for making it to the party.
Go on, you’re gonna need that.
Anytime a relative quizzes you about plans post-graduation/love life/grades, chug a glass of wine.
“So, have any job offers? What happened to *insert name of ex-boyfriend from 3 years ago*? Getting all A’s, right?”
NO. GO AWAY.
Anytime a relative gives you unsolicited advice, take a shot.
“You know, I was drinking much less and doing exercise much more when I was your age…” Congrats, now DRINK.
Anytime relatives start to brag about their *incredible* children, guzzle your wine.
Oh really, your 3-year-old was accepted into the most prestigious preschool in the state? Fascinating. Please, do go on.
Anytime someone breaks out a lame family activity, pour yourself two shots.
Here comes the dreaded annual game of Yahtzee. Better pregame this one.
Anytime a relative starts talking major sh** on another family member, take a nice big shot.
“And have you seen what your cousin is wearing? She looks like a hooker!”
Really feeling the love right now, Aunt Patty.
Anytime a relative asks why you don’t call them or visit them more often, finish your glass of wine.
Am I too busy to call you? Nope, just too drunk.
When food is finally served, take a celebratory shot.
More chewing + less talking = happy drinking. You should be feeling pretty good by this point.
If you managed to make it through the whole party without being confronted by your creepy uncle, chug the last of your wine.
Congrats, kid. You just won your family party.