It’s that time of the year again. You can already hear the frustrated screams of sorority women as they spend hours trying to paint Patagonia prints and country lyrics. That’s right, it’s cooler season.
There a million DIY articles on how to paint a cooler but once the sealant has dried you’re left with an empty plastic box that smells like chemicals. This is when you realize the actual point of a cooler: to fill it with goodies.
Here’s a list to help you fill the most kick-ass cooler ever.
It’s obvious but it’s gotta be said. If you like him go ahead an splurge on nicer beer (i.e., the kind that’s not in a can) but there’s nothing wrong with a good ol’ Fratty Light.
#SpoonTip: If you really want to impress him I’ve got one word: Heinekeg
Your date will drink all the beer. Be prepared. Even though we cringe and always reach for chase, vodka is necessary. And you’re going to need it to spend an entire weekend with a fraternity.
Everyone has their personal preference on how to cover up the taste of their alcohol. If you’re like me and don’t care as long as you can’t taste it, here’s a cheat sheet:
RedBull: If you want to make it out after the darty and then do it again tomorrow.
Gatorade: If you want to pretend like it’s going to help your hangover.
Coke: For dark liquor.
Sprite: For clear liquor.
#SpoonTip: Water + Vodka + Crystal Light = you can thank me later.
For an away weekend, Gatorade just won’t cut it. Trust me. If you’re really struggling, splash a little hair of the dog into your cup. It’s the original hangover cure for a reason.
Sometimes even the Pedialite isn’t enough. This weekend is one of those times. Just don’t take it on an empty stomach.
Like, a lot. Hungover you will thank me.
Not only are they fun to play with/eat when you’re drunk but Goldfish are also delicious and some are even gluten-free. And if you don’t like Goldfish, I wish you luck in finding your soul.
8. Granola Bars
Food will be scarce, so trust me and bring some of these. You also have two road trips and an entire weekend of drinking to get through. Like the alcohol, bring more than you think you need.
You have at least a million that you hardly ever wear so use them to stuff your cooler. They also take up room and make it look like you put in way more stuff than you actually did.
10. Cups with your letters on them
You can’t post photos with bottles or red cups but if you don’t Instagram it, did you really go? Yes, because everyone saw your SnapStory feat. your cute-ass cups.
11. At least one thing with his letters on it
Boys love their letters. They don’t have the basic hand signs to throw but they love ’em. So grab a cup or a shot glass and toss it in, he’ll be psyched.
12. A Flask
That being said, be sure to bring some sort of mobile alcohol vessel. You’re probably going to places where you can shotgun beers and do body shots in the same breath but better safe than sober.
You totally thought you’d use them but you probably haven’t touched them since your big gave them to you. He won’t use them either. But they look dope. You also get a jump start on spring cleaning before you have to pack everything up after finals.
Drinking on a moving bus is hard but necessary. Straws help.
15. Paper Towels
There will be party fouls, but you will be a party hero.
16. Plastic baggies
If there is a water element to the weekend (and boys love boats, so odds are yes) these little puppies will save your phone/cash/life.
Lobster is great for dinner but you don’t want to look like one in pictures. If you’re trying to get a tan do what everyone else does and paint one on before you go. Just please, don’t use a tanning bed.
As many as you can. But it’s away weekend so, for the ones you can’t quite recall, take pictures. Because with a kick-ass cooler like yours, there can only be good times ahead.