A lot goes into planning the perfect political debate-watching party. Unlike your typical frat party, tension often runs high, and food is the best way to diffuse it. Check out some of these ideas for the best bi-partisan debate party around (just don’t send any emails about it).
Pheasant Pot Pie
Pheasant pot pie tastes like success. It tastes like that rush you feel when you’re outdoors and you’ve just caught tonight’s dinner or, in this case, tonight’s snack. This snack’s mission is two-fold. One, it provides a delicious, hearty and flavorful addition to the already pretty flavorful debate unfolding before you. Two, the deliciousness of pot pie gives you the perfect opening to share your beliefs regarding the second amendment.
Need a good way to respond to the criticisms of your preferred political candidates by your Bernie Bro “friends”? Serving ’em up some burnt food with the line, “Looks like you feel the Bern, but tasting the Bern doesn’t seem so nice.”
You will most likely be met with awe at your political wit. The best part about serving burnt food is that you can burn, and, therefore, serve absolutely anything. Burnt hot dogs, burnt wings, burnt chips and dip… the possibilities are endless, and the look on that Bernie Bro’s face will be priceless.
Here’s your chance to demonstrate your commitment to the next president by eating food the color of his skin tone. You can stick to the classic Cheetos, Doritos and Cheez-Its, or you can take your political party to the next level by serving foods with a beta-carotene content high enough to actually turn your skin orange (if eaten in large quantities). For the hardcore fans, I’d recommend carrots, pumpkins, papayas and John Boehner. Yum.
Pie. Any kind of pie.
The pie should serve as an appetizing metaphor, and it is your duty to demonstrate that once a slice has been taken (cough, cough by the 1 percent) there is less wealth – I mean pie – to give to everyone else.
Basically, this pie will not get eaten because of the judgmental glances you shoot at anyone trying to enjoy the pie. Instead, the pie has a better use than being eaten. If anyone dares mention anything about how much the size of the pie matters, they can enjoy that pie in their face.
(Chocolate) Pantsuit-Dipped Strawberries
Pantsuits are classic, just like chocolate-covered strawberries. Instead of decorating your chocolate-covered strawberries in typical tuxedo wear, change up that strawberry with some brightly colored melted chocolate for pantsuit strawberries.
The best part about pantsuit-dipped strawberries? They’re often prefaced with the word “power,” and who doesn’t think the government should have more power?
Grated Farmers Market Vegetables
Sure, making America great again sounds nice. But in your fine, GMO-free opinion, a certain presidential candidate making America great again will be as appealing as eating grated vegetables. Have you ever tried eating grated eggplant shavings? No? There’s a reason for that. It’s about as hard as eating grated broccoli. Never tried that either? Point proven.
With these delectable options, you’re sure to have a successful political debate watching party. But, hey, if for some reason these snacks aren’t a big hit, chips and dip always do the trick.