Unless you’ve been living under a rock the size of the United States of America these last few months, you’ve heard of Alexander Hamilton, our ten-dollar founding father. The hit musical Hamilton, written by and starring Lin Manuel-Miranda, is the most universally popular Broadway show ever (and now has 11 Tony Awards to prove it). The show has transcended the theatre scene, with the album debuting at #12 on the Billboard 100. The show’s popularity even caused the US Treasury to decide against replacing Hamilton on the $10 bill, and chose to replace Jackson on the twenty instead. Sorry Jeremy Lin, a new type of Lin-sanity is sweeping the nation, and everyone wants to get into the room where it happens.
The price of Hamilton tickets continues to rise: resale tickets to 2016 shows range from $1000 to $10,000. Excluding Lin Manuel-Miranda’s last week of performances, the average resale price of a Hamilton ticket is $1,239.99. That’s right – it takes 124 Hamiltons to SEE Hamilton. As college students, that’s bigger than some of our meal plans. So, to help visualize this absurd amount of money, we translated the ticket price into something everyone can understand: food.
For the price of an average $1,239.99 Hamilton ticket, you could buy:
1. 4,960 Giant Gumballs
We’ve all begged our parents for a quarter to get a sacred gumball from the machine. Get out those quarters, because for the price of one Hamilton ticket you could get enough gumballs to last you more than 10 years. Definitely enough gum to blow us all away.
2. 200 Waffles, 203 Pieces of Bacon, 72 Coffees and 116 Eggs from Waffle House
Obviously breakfast is the superior meal of all the three. With a Hamilton ticket you could buy enough waffles even for Leslie Knope.
3. 1,127 Avocados
Cue screams of basic girls ’round the nation. Still, they will never be satisfied. Avocados ring in approximately $1.10 each, so a Hamilton ticket could get you more than three years worth of avocados.
4. 2,108 Shots of Burnett’s
If you find the price of tickets hard to swallow, you can turn to alcohol. You certainly won’t be throwing away your shot if you invest in some high-quality Burnett’s (at $9.99/fifth) to drink away the sadness of not being able to see Hamilton.
5. 44 Vermonsters from Ben and Jerry’s
One Vermonster (20 scoops of ice cream) costs $28. 44 of them would be 880 scoops of ice cream, plus toppings. If anyone can eat that, brrr… you disgust me.
6. 207 Small Domino’s Pizzas
Sometimes Dominoes delivery might take longer than we want, but at just $5.99 a pie, we’re willing to wait for it.
7. 5,636 Munchkins at Dunkin’ Donuts
Munchkins sell for about 22 cents each, so you’d have enough to eat non-stop if you spent your Hamilton ticket on these instead.
8. 6,526 Bananas from Trader Joe’s
Trader Joe’s has historically marked down their banana prices ($0.19 to be precise) to lure you in and spend your paycheck on Cookie Butter. This sh*t is bananas, and will leave everyone asking why you bite like you’re running out of time.
9. 35 Honey Glazed Hams
Put the ham into Hamilton with 35 of your very own honey glazed hams. If you can’t find tickets to the show, you can always invite a small militia over to enjoy a ham feast – and maybe start your own revolution.
10. 278 Grande Iced Caramel Macchiatos
For anyone who’s ever complained that Starbucks’ is too expensive, $4.45 now seems like chump’s change. With this much coffee, even the biggest coffee enthusiast will be feelin’ helpless.
11. 1,393 Kit-Kats
Feeling exhausted thinking about all of the food you could buy instead of seeing the greatest show in the world in the greatest city in the world? Been doing too much #work? Take a break with over 1,000 Kit-Kats.
Are you starting to think there’s nothing you can’t buy? Well, the price of one Hamilton ticket will only buy you .00001 of this $75 million cake.
Alternatively, we’d like to propose the new Hamilton Diet: buy a ticket to the show, and then give up food for six months! Apparently, weight drops in a heartbeat.*
*Just kidding, we do not endorse fad diets.