From 3am Harris Teeter runs, to post-Shooters Cosmic trips, to ordering $70 worth of Dominos pizza, we’ve all had those nights (and sometimes days) where our appetites have gotten the better of us. Duke students told us all of their most absurd late-night drunchies.
One girl ordered cheesy bread and fell asleep before she ate it. She proceeded to fall out of her bed, hit her head, wake up, and order more cheesy bread because she forgot she had already ordered some.
Mac and Cheese for the Lactose Intolerant
One girl left a darty in a cab by herself, got the cab to bring her to Local 22, ordered mac and cheese to go (even though she’s lactose intolerant) and went home to her apartment to wake up and find the mac and cheese in her fridge untouched with no memory of ever purchasing it.
The Third Wheel
“Freshman year I walked to harris teeter at 3am in a tiger onesie with my RA and her boyfriend to buy frozen mango.”
Don’t you just hate it when you’re third wheeling in a tiger onesie. Happens all the time…
I Scream, You Scream
“One of my friends went out at 4:00am to Harris Teeter and bought $50 worth of ice cream, Popsicles, ice cream sandwiches, etc.”
3 Minutes Too Late
Laziness at its Finest
“I found leftover pizza in the kitchen and became increasingly tired while eating it, so I made a bed out of bar chairs to be able to eat and lay down at the same time. Needless to say, I slept in the kitchen that night.”
“I left Cosmic (after already eating a quesadilla and an order of queso dip) and decided to bring another order of queso dip back to my dorm with me. I proceeded to fall asleep in my bed cradling the queso dip (without a lid on). I woke up like a crusty crab with queso dip dried in my hair.”
Don’t Drink and Cook
“A friend of mine came home from Shooters late one night and decided to make mac and cheese, but she fell asleep after putting the pasta in to boil. The fire trucks came an hour later…”
PSA: Friends don’t let drunk friends use kitchen appliances.
When You Really Want Tater Tots
“I went to Pitchforks (aka Cafe Edens) at 3am after a party and upon seeing that their fryers were still broken, screamed, ‘I just want some f*cking tater tots,’ as loudly as I could.”
One of my friends made herself a quesadilla. Then, even though we ran out of tortillas, she decided to make another. So she made another “quesadilla” in the microwave comprised of Parmesan cheese Cheez-Its (even though she hates them) with melted cheddar cheese on top. Also at random intervals while eating process, she’d scream “SMARTFOOD.” I guess she also wanted some popcorn.
Two of my friends and I ate a burrito that had been left on a table at Cosmic as we waited in line.
3 Minute Delivery
“I ordered Dominos alone one night and called them every 3 minutes precisely (I have the phone record) to complain about how long it was taking.”