If the complaints from the FDA are an accurate reflection, it’s safe to say that people aren’t being so kind to KIND bars lately. Despite recent objections, I still eat KIND bars every now-and-all-the-time. Here’s a completely
biased objective ranking of the classic KIND bars.
9. Nut Delight
This is ridiculous. You can’t just stick some raw nuts together in a bar and call it a delight. I’m not delighted at all.
8. Fruit & Nut Delight
Alright, so you took the atrocity of the nut “delight” and added some fruit. Not impressed. At least there’s some variety in flavor and texture; however, I consider flavor and texture to be baseline expectations, not assets.
7. Fruit & Nuts in Yogurt
The yogurt adds more flavor to the fruit and nut combo and keeps the bar from tasting like a handful of Chris Traeger’s guilt-free trail mix.
6. Almonds & Apricot in Yogurt
The texture and flavor balance is good until the yogurt is added. In this case, the apricot is already sweet enough, and the yogurt is overkill. This bar is sweeter than frosted flakes and red bull.
5. Peanut Butter & Strawberry
The balance of sweet and salty is nice, but peanuts are not the same as peanut butter! Don’t go telling me I’m getting peanut butter when you’re really giving me peanuts that aren’t even slightly buttery. You were so close to victory until you deceived me, KIND.
4. Blueberry Vanilla Cashew
This should be lower on the list because of overwhelming sweetness–it really is cloying–but the flavors are really good. We’re just going to pretend this one belongs in a different league. I call it dessert for breakfast.
3. Apple Cinnamon Pecan
Like apple pie, but the raw pecans make it savory enough to be a decent breakfast option, which I appreciate when I’m
running late perfectly on time to that 9am discussion section.
2. Almond & Apricot
Sans yogurt, this bar has a satisfying crunch and doesn’t get too sweet or too bland. The almonds add a nice heartiness, which is highly appreciated by someone who eats wasabi peas for breakfast more often than she’d like to admit.
1. Almond & Coconut
These babies get the #1 spot because they meet all of the objective markers: they’re hearty, crunchy, and not too sweet. They also meet the subjective standard set by my love of coconut. Hooray for impartial judgement!
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