You know you’re bored when you sue someone over their definition of mayonnaise. Or, you know you’re doing something terribly wrong when someone wants to fight you because of your mayonnaise. Either way, there’s a war between companies over the blandest (and, in my opinion, one of the most revolting) condiment: mayonnaise.
This all began when Hampton Creek Foods (backed by the entirely non-influential Bill Gates) started making vegan mayonnaise. This means that they took out the eggs, the main component of the condiment. This rubbed the multimillion-dollar consumer goods company Unilever the wrong way, and they’ve been fighting back and forth for about a month over it.
Unilever currently dominates the mayonnaise market (an obvious staple in the American economy), having brands such as Hellman’s under its ownership. But it’s feeling threatened by the smaller, newer company that has won America’s heart by saying “Adios!” to eggs.
You can’t make this stuff up, folks. The larger mayo-obsessed company is trying to eliminate the smaller guys who are just trying to provide America with more mayo options. A noble pursuit, in my eyes.
In the suit, Unilever said: “By calling its vegan sandwich spread ‘Just Mayo’, Hampton Creek falsely communicates to consumers that Just Mayo is mayonnaise, when it in fact, it is not.” Some lawyers are stating that the company will probably back down once they realize their disconnect from reality and how backwards they are right now. The lawyers also brought up how Unilever had previously attempted to produce an eggless mayo, but it did not go well. Regardless, I wish the company a speedy recovery from whatever meltdown they are currently having.
I always knew there was a deeper meaning behind my dislike for mayo. It’s evidently too crazy of a lifestyle for me.
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