I know I’m not the only one who has come home from a party at 4 AM, scavenging the fridge and pantry for something, anything, to quiet my rumbling tummy. What I usually come up with is some disgusting variation of pasta with ketchup.
I consider myself a creative person but after a night of pounding Platinums and Aristocrat, I’ll pretty much settle for anything. I’m not proud of this but I’ve accepted it as a fact of life.
With a little inspiration from my Spoon friends over at F&M, I knew I couldn’t have been the only one who had a penchant for the weird when it comes to my late-night drunk snacking. So, I followed my instinct and took to the streets. What the hell were other JMU students eating late-night? The results speak for themselves.
“I toasted an English muffin and put butter, peanut butter, chocolate chips and French Toast Crunch on top. Then, I crushed it and made a sandwich. It was so bad but I couldn’t stop eating it.”
“Honestly, dialing for pizza correctly is impressive enough for me.”
“Well I’m the expert at the drunk Belgian waffle. Like, I make it every time I go out. But I’m not adventurous. I don’t stray from the waffle.”
“I made a full chocolate cake with homemade frosting–totally blacked out. I came down the next morning so hungover and looked at my roommates and was like ‘what’s with the cake?’ Naturally, we all ate it for breakfast.”
“One time, my roommate and I heated up a DiGorno pizza and topped it with Easy Mac. We straight up started tearing the pizza to be able to scoop up the mac. It was so good.”
“I made a big dinner for the roommates and the other 5 people snowed in with us during Storm Jonas. I was high off a brownie and smoking and moderately tipsy off a bottle of wine. I made a hominy casserole (onions, jalapeños, cream of chicken, sour cream, cheese) to be served with a simple chicken dish called Brady’s Chicken (season chicken breast on the bottom coveted by onions sour cream and cream of mushroom – topped with stuffing). These are both baked in the oven.”
“I mixed together Cheetos, popcorn, and Funyons and it was amazeballs.” “I once made macaroni and cheese tacos and TBH, I would do it again sober. 10/10 would def recommend.”
“One time I made a cinnamon and vanilla frosting dip for tortilla chips. I melted the frosting and cinnamon mixture down. So good.”
“One time my friend made brownies out of the box and instead of adding oil, she added vinegar and didn’t realize until they were done so you can only imagine how that one turned out.”
“I made (tried to make) cookies from the cookie dough in ice cream. Fail.”
“I put protein powder in my beer one time.”
“Okay, don’t shoot it before you try it buuuuuuuuuuuuuuut… cheesy Doritos dipped in cream cheese and grape jelly.”
“I don’t really “make” food when I drink, I pretty much just order.”
“I ate the display food outside of E-Hall before it opened as one of the employees watched and repeatedly told me to stop. He would replace the food and I just kept eating it.”
“My roommates made snickerdoodles but forgot half the flour so it basically looked like a dehydrated pancake.”
“I’ve been blacklisted by Chanello’s and Domino’s since freshman year because I ordered pizza and passed out without paying too many times.”
“My friend dipped breadsticks in bacon grease. It was disgusting to watch but she kept doing it even after we told her so it must have been delicious.”
“I just woke up covered in salsa. Essentially, I was a human nacho.”
So there you have it. Your caveman eating habits are no different than the very peers you sit beside in class. Try one of these concoctions the next time the drunchies get the best of you. Or not.