Time: 2 am
Place: Your dorm room
Situation: The munchies have set in, but you just can’t settle for a simple snack. Don’t panic. If you’ve got some quarters and a creative spirit, then your neighborhood vending machine is the solution to all your gourmet snacking needs.
Option 1: Rice Krispy Treat Reversal
If your mom used to make Rice Krispy treats from scratch, then let’s just call your microwave a mini time machine. You’re about to experience the magic all over again. Just snag a Rice Krispy from the vending machine and microwave it (unwrapped) for about 20 seconds. Voila. You’re 8-years-old again.
Option 2: Popcorn Palooza
If plain popcorn isn’t your bag, NBD. Grab some popcorn and a bag of Doritos from ye olde vendor. Microwave the popcorn normally, then open the bag and pour in the Doritos. Now, shake the bag until the Doritos fall to the bottom, and you’ve got cheesy popcorn. Thanks, questionable Dorito dust.
Option 3: Alternative Trail Mix
Punch in the codes for some M&M’s, pretzels, mixed nuts, and fruit gummies. Mix ‘em together and put on your hiking socks. You’re ready for a late night camping trip.
Option 4: Peanut Butter Pie á la Reese’s
If your vending machine serves both Reese’s Cups and Reese’s Pieces, then peanut butter lovers can rejoice. The holy grail of peanut buttery goodness awaits you. Procure said Reese’s treats and remove the wrappings. Now, carefully align the pieces along the outer edge of the cups like a pie crust. Result: pure art.
Option 5: Thanksgiving Treat
Now, you could argue that Bugles should appear on this list by themselves, simply due to the entertainment value of using them as witch’s fingers. Regardless, go get some Bugles and a bag of M&M’s from the vending machine. Now, put an M&M into each bugle and you’ve got mini cornucopias. If only the Pilgrims could see us now. (Hint: the red and green M&M’s give the illusion of vegetables, therefore making them healthy).
Option 6: M&M&M’s
That’s right, three M’s. This might be the least healthy version of “ants on a log” ever created, but the jury is still out. Snag some M&M’s and a 3 Musketeers bar from the machine (Milky Way works too, if you’re up for it). Take the knife you stole from the dining hall last week and slice the Musketeer in half like a hotdog bun. Then, line M&M’s up in the filling like ants on the proverbial log. The best news: there’s no celery involved.
Option 7: The Chipwich
This snack is not for the faint of heart. Only truly desperate midnight snackers should dare the feat that is the Chip-wich. Similar to the soda mixture called the “Suicide,” this audacious and bodacious treat involves buying every type of chip in the vending machine and creating a stack with one of each. Don’t attempt this in your roommate’s bed. Actually, you should probably go outside just to be safe. If you can fit the entire stack in your mouth in one try, we salute you.
Hopefully one of these snacks strikes your fancy, but remember: don’t shake the vending machine if your item gets stuck. More people are squished by vending machines every year than are attacked by sharks. Happy snacking.
For more ways to satisfy your snack cravings, check these out: