A friend recently said to me that the way you win a break up is by not letting yourself go. I recently had a spark with an ex that ended very badly which inevitably made me gain around 15 pounds. I’m clearly not winning the breakup now considering he’s moved on and I have a muffin top.
As tempting as it is to binge on Ben and Jerry’s and eat a full pizza by yourself every night I’m here to tell you that all that leaves you with is greasy fingers and tight pants. I’m learning the best way to move on is to stay healthy and become that hot piece of ass they missed out on.
Feeling better about yourself will not only help you gain that confidence you lost but help you feel ready to get back out into the dating pool. These are some reasons why its important to avoid that breakup/heartbreak diet.
1. Dominos Won’t Fill the Void in Your Heart
I’ve ordered so many pizzas recently that I have my debit card number memorized. I should really start taking advantage of tweeting for a pizza. After drinking and being sad, I always seem to think that cheesy bread and a pan pizza will make me feel better about my breakup.
While in the moment they taste delicious, the morning after the grease on my fingers and the stale pizza box on the floor are a sad testament to my life and not worth all the calories. Your friends will enable you to eat the whole pizza, thinking it will make you happy but it won’t, I promise. Shoutout to the friends who are there for me in my heartbreak but please, for the love of God, stop letting me order food.
2. Breaking Out is NOT Fun
The mayo clinic confirms that an unhealthy diet and stress cause break outs. How great is it to lose your significant other and then end up with a pimple the size of a small country on your face? I am a person who will break out due to what I eat. When everything going into my body is deep fried carbs and covered in cheese, my face shows what my body already knows.
Breaking out makes me want to curl up into a corner, wear a hat and glasses, and never leave my room. This is clearly another way to not get over a breakup. Looking terrible will only make you feel worse about yourself, not helping you move on.
3. Summer is Almost Here and My Shorts Don’t Fit
I am not proud like Will Ferrell is during his tight pants skit with Jimmy Fallon. This is by far one of the worst parts of gaining weight. Summer is my favorite season and I love running around in sun dresses and shorts. I tried on my favorite pair from last season and they looked like a sausage casing.
Since I’m a broke college student with no money for a new wardrobe, I have no choice but to get out of my break-up funk so I’m not stuck wearing sweatpants and oversized college shirts all summer. Letting myself gain this amount of weight is really throwing my health off.
4. Meeting New People is Hard When I’m Feeling Fat
My self confidence has plummeted from feeling rejected. Eating has been a way to cope with the sadness, but it has also made me antisocial. When all of my friends are putting on their crops tops I’m tempted to not go out because I’m self conscious about the weight that I’ve gained.
It makes me not want to get out of bed, and staying in bed only makes you sadder, trust me. Going out and making new friends is a healthy way to get over a breakup but feeling fat and not wanting to get out of bed will prevent you from doing just that.
5. Calories Won’t Heal Wounds, Only Time Will
Having your heart broken is one of the worst feelings in the world as anyone who has gone through a break up or lost someone can attest to. It seems cliche to say only time will heal the pain but I’m starting to realize its true. After hearing, “just give it time” from my family and friends, I have to believe its true.
While it will take time for me to heal, one thing that is in my control is my weight. I do not have to continue stress eating and frankly, after eating my body weight in french fries, I’m not sure I want to. Letting yourself go because of a break-up is a dangerous path to go down. No one else should have the power to control your life or the way you feel about yourself. With or without a boyfriend I am still a beautiful independent woman and I need to start feeling like one again.
I’m gonna go eat a salad now.