The last words my mom said to me before sending me off for my freshman year at college were: “Do NOT eat past 9 pm, trust me, you will regret it.”
Little did I know that the first thing college taught me was that food could not taste any better past 9 pm, especially coming home from the club on a Thursday night after one too many vodka cranberries.
Parents, you need to remember that 2 am Easy Mac and a drunk call to Chanello’s for a large, greasy, but oh-so-beautiful cheese pizza to devour completely on your own is basically a college right of passage.
With that being said, despite experiencing the heaven that is drunk-eating, you can’t help but wake up in the morning and add that pizza, or easy-mac, or both, to your list of regrets from the night before.
Obviously there is nothing that can replace the insane deliciousness of unhealthy drunk foods, but the next day food baby has caused me to come up with healthy alternatives to stock my dorm with in preparation for those late-night, drunken-self cravings.
(PSA: Try to keep an open mind, I love easy-mac as much as the rest of us. But I also really love the new skinny jeans I just bought).
Baked tortilla chips with fresh salsa
As college students, we all know that a jar of Tostito’s salsa or queso is a dorm room must have. But why reach for those options that are high in sodium and sugar when there is an even yummier and healthier option? At your next trip to the grocery store, stock your fridge with fresh salsa (my favorite is Top Crop Fresh Salsa).
You can even swap Tostito chips for an alternative that will leave you feeling a little less guilty, but satisfy you just the same. Try the brand RWGarcia — with a variety of healthy tortilla chip options their products are a necessity for a healthy night of drunk eating.
Rice cakes with almond butter
I live and die by peanut butter. There is honestly nothing better than a giant spoonful (or two, or three) of the creamy, fatty product. Considering how irresistible it is, and how at 2 am your self control is at an all time low, I would try to avoid it.
Instead, try almond butter — it contains more nutrients and healthy fats while cutting out more of the saturated fats that peanut butter has.
If you don’t feel satisfied with a scoop of almond butter, spread it across a rice cake, which is low in fat and calories (exactly what we need after all that beer).
Sorbet or frozen yogurt
We all have a sweet tooth, and usually ice cream satisfies your sugary late night cravings. Trust me, a pint of ice cream doesn’t seem like much when you’re losing yourself in the heaven that is Phish Food…until you realize that you’re about to take the last bite of a 4-serving container. No shame, we’ve all been there.
You can still satisfy your sweet needs by stocking your freezer with sorbet or frozen yogurt. Frozen yogurt will offer you the same taste with less fat than ice cream (yes, your sober self might notice the difference, but I think we can sneak one past your drunk self).
Sorbet is another low fat treat that can quench your thirst for something sweet. If you don’t have a freezer in your dorm room, try greek or low-fat yogurt with berries, honey, or granola.
Hummus with anything
Hummus is seriously taking over the food world and is a MUST have in your dorm room. Hummus can transform any tasteless snack into something delicious. So when you’re looking for something filling and yummy late at night, reach for a container of hummus.
As for the “dippers,” my go-to is Stacy’s pita chips (if you really want to be healthy look for the crisps instead of chips). If you’ve got any kind of vegetable (carrots, celery, cucumbers) in your fridge, definitely go for those dipping options too.
Have no fear if you can’t make it to the grocery store or don’t have the cash to spend. Use your dining dollars at ETC or any of the other eateries on campus because they sell the Sabra & Pretzel to-go containers, which are already portioned out for you.
All of these snacks so far have been perfect for the dorm room, but what about the nights when you find yourself at the pizza place and all your friends are buying giant slices of cheesy, saucy goodness? The peer pressure is REAL and that smell of fresh, hot-out-the-oven pizza does not help your self control what-so-ever.
I know how hard it is to turn down drunk pizza…so don’t do it. Opt for a slice of veggie pizza instead. Even though it’s still pizza, at least you can wake up knowing that last night you ate some veggies too (it would also probably make your mom proud).
Feeling inspired to eat healthy? Check out these links: