1. Who needs a significant other when you have pizza by your side?

2. Pizza is bae.

3. People will disappoint you. Life will disappoint you. But, pizza never will.

4. Pizza is healthy as long as you think it is.

5. Oh, did you say something? Sorry, I couldn’t hear you over how good this pizza is.

6. A large pizza feeds five? More like feeds ONE.

7. The only food group I know of is pizza.

8. Wow, I just had the best dream about pizza. *Beyoncé sings in the background*

9. *buckles up hot pizza box in passenger seat after pick-up* Safety first!

10. “Hey buddy, I’m not going to be able to make it out tonight. I promise I’ll make it up to you next week.” *dials Domino’s and turns on Netflix*

11. The only one I need by my side on Valentine’s Day is pizza.

12. The food pyramid is a triangle, and so is this slice of pizza in my hand. Therefore, pizza is the food pyramid.

13. Cheering on Pete the Pizzamaker on Domino’s tracker.

14. Free food? What kind of food? Pizza? Say no more. I am there.

15. “Hey, you’re still eating? How many sli-” Hush, child. Don’t speak.

16. *checks clock* 10:30 AM. Hmm… Pizza sounds really good right now.

17. If you don’t like pizza, we can’t be friends.

18. I accidentally told the delivery guy that I loved him.

19. *opens hot pizza box and sings* Baby, all through the night I’ll make love to youuuuu….

20. Here’s how to make the perfect dinner: pick up your phone, hit speed dial #1 to Pizza Hut, order, and wait.

21. Whenever I look at my pizza deliverer, I just think: Not all heroes wear capes.

22. The only man I ever need in my life is Papa John.

23. You know you really love a friend if you’re willing to give them a slice of your pizza.

24. Always thinking about it. Always wanting it. Always regretting not eating it when you get the chance to eat it.

25. The only difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza.

26. Dear beloved pizza, you have a pizza my heart. Love, me.

27. Why must all good things come to an end?

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