Anna Kendrick might just be the queen of relatable. Need proof? Check out these extremely relevant musings on food, all condensed to 140 characters or less.
1. Serves 3? More like serves me
We see a new container of ice cream as a challenge to be won. Take a tip from Anna and bear your bottomless pit with pride, delivery boy’s expectations be damned.
2. The real meaning of food porn
There’s absolutely nothing in this world that can compare to food porn. A perfectly broken yolk, a drip of melted chocolate, or a perfect ice cream swirl = instant turn-on.
3. Three words: Treat. Yo. Self.
Sometimes life gets you down, but you can instantly get your day back on track by channeling your inner Tom Haverford with dessert for dinner. Recreate Anna’s soul-healing meal with these wine and Ben & Jerry’s pairings.
4. Wedding cake for one, please
Anyone who says money can’t buy happiness is wrong, because money can definitely buy an entire cake. That’s the same thing as happiness, right?
5. Embrace your inner chef (or lack thereof)
Not everyone can be Gordon Ramsey (or even Guy Fieri, for that matter). Celebrate the little accomplishments, even if it’s just a basic grilled cheese (bonus points if you use this hack to simultaneously make your sandwich and iron your clothes).
6. Some #realtalk about Oreo’s latest and greatest
There are two kinds of people: those who prefer the cream part of the Oreo, and those who are wrong. Join Anna’s team and be on the right side of the Oreo debate, because why mess with perfection?
7. Will work for food
Future career plans: anything that involves tasting, testing, or sampling food.
8. Yes, frosting counts as a bagel spread
Scientific fact: sugar doesn’t count when it’s combined with breakfast food. Like Anna, start your morning off right with something guaranteed to make waking up early a little bit sweeter.
9. How to: friendship breakup
Yes, my dessert looks good. No, you cannot have a bite. If your friend is a known food-moocher but you don’t want to dump them just yet, check out these tips to keep your stash safe.
10. How to: friendship makeup
Ready to redeem yourself? Come back with a sleeve of Oreos (or pint of ice cream, or jar of nutella, or box of extra-cheese-stuffed-crust pizza) and we’ll talk.
11. Just my type
Like Anna, we don’t want you to talk to us when we’re eating (or possibly ever).
Frankly, a life without pasta is a life that we don’t want to live.
13. (Don’t) tell me more
I bet paleo is going good for you, but this stack of pancakes is really going great for me. I would ask to hear about your latest carb-free, fat-free, fun-free creation, but I’d rather stay in my grain-filled bubble of bliss.
14. Current status: probably thinking about food
Dinner, aka a reward for surviving the day. When all else fails, the thought of eating an entire box of mac and cheese might be just what you need to push through that last hour of class.
15. Grape juice > green juice
Hey Anna, we agree – adulting is no fun. Ditch the green juice and embrace your inner ten-year-old with these recipes that make your favorite kid foods acceptable to eat as an adult.
16. No judgement zone
We all have weird eating habits – why hide them when you can share with the entire internet? But if any of your preferences are as strange as these, we suggest that you keep them off Twitter.
17. PB & Everything
You never need an excuse for a bomb-ass snack. We believe that all foods are merely a vehicle for peanut butter, and recommend PB as a cure-all to satisfy your munchies, drunchies, lunchies, or cravings for crunchy.
18. All we want for Christmas is
Trust us, calories don’t count on Christmas. Take a hint from Santa and loosen your belt, because those holiday flavors only come around once a year.
19. Where is the logic
It does not look like a grape. It does not taste like a grape. It is not a grape.
20. Long live #basic sushi
The sushi burrito might be taking over your Instagram feed, but some of us can’t eat a roll without picturing it as our childhood pet goldfish. Thanks, but we’ll stick with the kid-friendly stuff (#sorrynotsorry).
There you have it, folks. Truer words were never spoken – retweet away.