We’re all still a bit disappointed that our Hogwarts letters never arrived, but at least we can live vicariously through Harry Potter’s son. Now that James Potter will be beginning school this year (and we’re officially old), all that’s left to do is take advantage of the occasion and imagine alllll the foods he’ll be eating this semester.
1. Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans
On the Hogwarts Express tea trolley, James will encounter this unusual treat. Unlike candies known to us Muggles, Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans come in every flavor — even the gross ones, like earwax.
2. Chocolate Frogs
Careful, these little delights actually hop. Get your own here.
3. Pumpkin Pasties
These tiny, delicate pies are filled with pumpkin rather than the traditional meat and vegetables. They’re pretty much Harry Potter’s version of the pumpkin spice latte… #basic. If you really wanna get your own, you can make your own pumpkin spice donuts in the microwave. #college
4. Cauldron Cakes
Leave it to witches and wizards to eat cake shaped like a miniature cauldron.
5. Sugar Quills with Edible Ink
James might enjoy sugar quills, a lollipop version of the image above, while pretending to listen to his History of Magic lectures.
6. No-Melt Ice Cream
As the name suggests, this ice cream never melts. And apparently no-melt ice cream is becoming a thing, further proving my theory that the wizarding world actually does influence the Muggle world.
7. Fizzing Whizzbees
These are giant balls of sherbet that allow whoever eats them to float a few feet off the ground.
8. Bottomless (because magic) Plates of Sandwiches
Since Hogwarts is a land of witches and wizards, there have to be foods that never stop refilling themselves. And all these foods taste better in sandwich form.
Why are Hogwarts kids allowed to drink as much of these mildly alcoholic beverages as they want and we in America have to wait until we are 21?
Although potions aren’t necessarily a food, there are several cheese-based potions just in case James gets really hungry.
11. Rock Cakes at Hagrid’s
Even though Hagrid is a notoriously bad cook and his rock cake is hard enough to break teeth, I am sure none of us would pass up the opportunity to share a meal with our favorite man on campus.
12. Skiving Snackboxes
When James visits the famous Weasley candy shop, he has the opportunity to try a Skiving Snackbox, which contains goodies such as nosebleed nougat and puking pastilles that make one appear sick to help him or her cut class.
13. Canary Creams
These taste and look like an ordinary cream puff, but once eaten, they can transform you into an actual canary.
14. Piroshky Draughts
Wait, is there a gym at Hogwarts..? James is definitely going to need one after stuffing his face with these.
15. Cornish Pasty
Next time you visit the Three Broomsticks, be sure to order this off the menu.
16. Acid Pops
Be careful because these innocent-looking lollipops can burn a hole in your tongue.
17. Pumpkin Juice
Muggles drink orange juice, but Hogwarts students drink pumpkin juice. Personally, I’d much rather have the pumpkin juice.
18. Sticky Toffee Pudding
This is a typical British dessert which is often mentioned in the Harry Potter series. It is made of a sponge cake filled with dates and covered with toffee sauce and ice cream.
19. Self-Propelling Custard Pie
The Weasley twins bewitched this pie to throw itself in the face of the enemy of your choosing. Unfortunately, we will have to be old school and throw this pie ourselves.
Last but not least, James Potter will have access to so much cake, he’ll probably get a stomachache. Not only will Hagrid, Mrs. Weasley, and Ginny probably bake him birthday cakes, but he will get to enjoy magically appearing cakes at every big Hogwarts feast.
Here’s to wishing James Potter a wonderful year at Hogwarts, and congrats on making Gryffindor.
But seriously, when do I get my letter?