Aziz, if you’re reading this, I love you. I have been your biggest fan since before Parks and Rec, I read your book, I watch all your stand-up, I single-handedly promoted Master of None among millennials — in short, we are meant to be. I direct messaged you on Instagram from the Spoon University account in hopes of us connecting over food, humor and my dog. In case you want to find it in your messages, this is what you should look for:

Hey lil boo, @brookehamroff here from spoon university. I know what a big foodie you are (shout out to that dope carbonara on master of none) and we’d love to share your foodie expertise with our audience. We cater to millennials and college kids who love food and shit, so shoot me an email if you’re down. Also my dog looks just like you. Peace, love dicks on frozen waffles, Brooke

Also, here is a photo of my dog for reference. Dead ringer.

aziz ansari

Photo courtesy of Iris Hamroff

As you can tell, Aziz did not respond, he isn’t reading this article, and we aren’t best friends making pasta by day and drinking negronis by night. Regardless, his Instagram account is the highlight of my everyday life because he’s so damn cute, perfect, and more into food than any of those fake foodstagram accounts. Here are a few of my favorites. And, yes, I stalked all the way back to his first posts. #commitment

Juicy Couture

aziz ansari

Photo courtesy of @azizansari on Instagram

That post-show Nutri-Bullet good good.

#TacosAndTuxedos

aziz ansari

Photo courtesy of @azizansari on Instagram

This hashtag is trending.

The Bee’s Knees

aziz ansari

Photo courtesy of @azizansari on Instagram

When his Thanksgiving was sweet as honey and totally shat on yours.

#SpoonTip

aziz ansari

Photo courtesy of @azizansari on Instagram

He heard about using a stone turtle to hack panini-style Cubanos right here, folks.

WE BAQ AT IT

aziz ansari

Photo courtesy of @azizansari on Instagram

There are no words to describe this photo. Just pure, unadulterated, true love.

No Ragrets

aziz ansari

Photo courtesy of @azizansari on Instagram

He knows how to order like a real man. Mommy like.

Don’t Let the Haters Stop You From Doing Your Thang

aziz ansari

Photo courtesy of @azizansari on Instagram

Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor hail can come in between this guy and his homemade frickin’ pasta.

Treat Yo Self

aziz ansari

Photo courtesy of @azizansari on Instagram

With cake, son. Tastyville.

Pensive Thoughts on a Saturday

aziz ansari

Photo courtesy of @azizansari on Instagram

That kimono, though.

Drake on Cake

aziz ansari

Photo courtesy of @azizansari on Instagram

So hood.

Baby Bugles

aziz ansari

Photo courtesy of @azizansari on Instagram

Dem sweatpants.

Lemme See Yo Grill

aziz ansari

Photo courtesy of @azizansari on Instagram

Grilling oysters like a BOSS.

Cacio e Pepe

aziz ansari

Photo courtesy of @azizansari on Instagram

#freshpastalife

Twinkie Ride

aziz ansari

Photo courtesy of @azizansari on Instagram

The deepest thoughts.

Same.

aziz ansari

Photo courtesy of @azizansari on Instagram

Stars: They’re just like us.

Pimp Cup

aziz ansari

Photo courtesy of @azizansari on Instagram

Throw it back, bro.

In Love With Da Coco

aziz ansari

Photo courtesy of @azizansari on Instagram

Fre$h.

Big Ole Chunk o’ Reggiano

aziz ansari

Photo courtesy of @azizansari on Instagram

~candid~

The Best for Last: His Name is Cheese

aziz ansari

Photo courtesy of @azizansari on Instagram

This may or may not be the background on my phone. Aziz on a horse. Named Cheese. In a leather jacket. Dreams do come true.