Aziz, if you’re reading this, I love you. I have been your biggest fan since before Parks and Rec, I read your book, I watch all your stand-up, I single-handedly promoted Master of None among millennials — in short, we are meant to be. I direct messaged you on Instagram from the Spoon University account in hopes of us connecting over food, humor and my dog. In case you want to find it in your messages, this is what you should look for:
Hey lil boo, @brookehamroff here from spoon university. I know what a big foodie you are (shout out to that dope carbonara on master of none) and we’d love to share your foodie expertise with our audience. We cater to millennials and college kids who love food and shit, so shoot me an email if you’re down. Also my dog looks just like you. Peace, love dicks on frozen waffles, Brooke
Also, here is a photo of my dog for reference. Dead ringer.
As you can tell, Aziz did not respond, he isn’t reading this article, and we aren’t best friends making pasta by day and drinking negronis by night. Regardless, his Instagram account is the highlight of my everyday life because he’s so damn cute, perfect, and more into food than any of those fake foodstagram accounts. Here are a few of my favorites. And, yes, I stalked all the way back to his first posts. #commitment
That post-show Nutri-Bullet good good.
This hashtag is trending.
The Bee’s Knees
When his Thanksgiving was sweet as honey and totally shat on yours.
He heard about using a stone turtle to hack panini-style Cubanos right here, folks.
WE BAQ AT IT
There are no words to describe this photo. Just pure, unadulterated, true love.
He knows how to order like a real man. Mommy like.
Don’t Let the Haters Stop You From Doing Your Thang
Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor hail can come in between this guy and his homemade frickin’ pasta.
Treat Yo Self
With cake, son. Tastyville.
Pensive Thoughts on a Saturday
That kimono, though.
Lemme See Yo Grill
Grilling oysters like a BOSS.
Cacio e Pepe
The deepest thoughts.
Stars: They’re just like us.
Throw it back, bro.
In Love With Da Coco
Big Ole Chunk o’ Reggiano
The Best for Last: His Name is Cheese
This may or may not be the background on my phone. Aziz on a horse. Named Cheese. In a leather jacket. Dreams do come true.