As freshman dorm assignments begin rolling in, it’s officially time to start thinking about your dorm room aesthetic. Will you be PBTeen classic? Are you boho chic with an un-ironic tapestry? YAWN.
Make an impression upon move-in and show your hall-mates what you’re really all about: food.
Your roomie will be like, “Wow, you sure do love burgers” and you can stare back at them stoically and say, “I get my best night’s sleep under a bun.”
Note: though these pajamas are not a dorm room “essential” you should put them on your list anyway.
Sharpening your pencil just got greasy (in the best way possible).
As far as I’m concerned, if you can have a Keurig you can have a donut maker. They’re basically the same thing. (BTW, who knew you could make oatmeal with a Keurig?)
I feel like it’s more weird to not have a casual croissant pillow on your bed than to have one. But that’s just me, I guess?
Is this shower curtain a little assaulting? It is. However, it will paint a clear picture of who you are as a person.
This is just the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. “Anaconda” meets cinnamon rolls = the coolest dorm room ever.
Ah, yes. There’s nothing quite like ripping shots of Burnett’s in your freshman dorm. If you aren’t taking shots out of a hamburger flask, are you even getting drunk bro?
Yes, you read that correctly. Throw some of this soap in your shower caddy. Everyone will look at you like you are a damn CRAZY person but maybe you’re into that sort of thing.
So you’re all set with your cork board from Bed Bath & Bae-yond. Silly you forgot pushpins. Look no further. They’re itsy and oh-so-cute.
10. No GMO Mug
Come in HOT with this mug. Sip and stare at your roommate as they dig into their microwaved ramen meal and JUDGE. Following that awkward exchange, school them in the world of GMOs.
No, your eyes are not deceiving you. These exist.
12. Sushi Clock
Never run late to class again with a little help from Mr. Sashimi. (Also, deconstructed sushi in a mason jar is an ideal pack lunch for the first day of class.)
13. Pancake Blanet
Get ready to Netfix and chill with the cutie down the hall underneath this appropriate pancake blanket.
This will go perfectly with your hamburger duvet (see above).
15. Gummy Bear Tote
Going to class? Grab your gummy tote. Heading to the gym? Gummy tote. Gummy tote over everything.
16. Pizza Lamp