American politics are pretty messy right now, to say the least. The rise of Donald Trump, a man who is aggressive, unabashed, and prone to discussing his…endowments, has led many Americans to say that they plan to move to Canada if he gets elected. If you’re one of those people, or if any of the other candidates make you want to relocate up north, check out these Canadian foods you’ll have to get used to.
Poutine is pretty much the classic Canadian cuisine, but it’s definitely an acquired taste you may have to get used to before moving to Canada. Consisting of cheese curds and gravy over fries, Canadians (especially those in Quebec) can eat this for pretty much any meal of the day. If you’re planning on moving to Canada, you should practice eating poutine as a drunk food. Trust me, it will come in handy.
2. Beaver Tails
Beaver Tails are pretty much the Canadian equivalent of a Dunkin Donut, and for good reason: what could possibly keep you from eating a literal slab of fried dough with powdered sugar? Canadians typically pile bananas, Nutella, caramel, or any number of toppings on this treat, which is just about as sweet as everyone’s favorite Grandpa figure, Bernie Sanders.
3. Maple Syrup
This one is pretty much a given — Canadians will probably never escape the Maple Syrup stereotype. While Americans can get their maple syrup fix from Vermont or New Hampshire, Canada provides some of the best quality syrup and we put it on pretty much everything. Make sure you pack a can opener, as Canadian Maple Syrup often comes in this (in)convenient can form.
4. All Dressed Chips
Like poutine, this is an acquired taste — it’s not exactly appealing from the get-go, but trust me, once you eat a few you won’t be able to stop. These addictive chips are kind of what it would taste like if you mixed all major chip varieties together (but in a good way, trust me). They were available for a limited time last year in the States, but your best bet is moving up north if you want to try these.
5. Maple Syrup Snow on a Stick
Is this not the most Canadian thing you can think of consuming? I mean… Maple Syrup? Check. Product of freezing cold winters (snow?) Check. This popular street food in Canada is like the winter equivalent of gelato. Basically, this simple treat uses boiling maple syrup which is rolled in snow around a stick to create a taffy-like candy. This helpful article demonstrates a simple way to make a variation on the treat at home.
6. Nanaimo Bars
This is my all-time favorite Canadian treat, named after a beautiful town in British Columbia that is worth a visit if you need further convincing to make the big move. The stunning scenery will have you applying for a visa in no time. Nanaimo bars are no-bake, and consist of crumbs, butter custard icing, and chocolate squares. They are only one of many delicious Canadian treats that will satisfy your sweet tooth.
7. Kraft Dinner
Americans don’t know Kraft Mac ‘N Cheese as intimately as we do up north. In Canada, it’s called Kraft Dinner (KD for short), and has even been described as the “de facto” national dish. It’s a gooey, cheesy explosion of what it means to be Canadian, and its pretty much the same color as Trump’s skin tone. If you are planning on moving to Canada, you must embrace the KD lifestyle; it’s practically on the citizenship test.
8. Montreal-Style Bagels
While Montreal may not have the same street cred as a destination for bagels as, say Brooklyn (hello, rainbow bagels) or New York City, it really should be. Montreal bagels are thin yet dense, boiled in honey water for a sweeter taste, typically topped with sesame seeds, and baked in a wood-fired oven. Right out of the oven, they are perfectly delectable to eat plain. For you NYC bagel purists, however, they may take some getting used to.
9. Butter Tarts
Their intriguingly frank name may prompt you to wonder what exactly is in these slightly-frumpy looking treats, but butter tarts are exactly what they sound like, and are pretty much made entirely of butter and sugar in a pie pastry. Despite being super simple to make and as delicious to eat as you would imagine, they are waaay more popular in Canada than in the U.S.
10. Tim Horton’s Double Double
If you’re like me and love all the milk and cream possible in your coffee, but always feel like an amateur ordering a sugary drink at a coffee shop, Tim Horton’s has the best solution: a catchy, snappy name for a sugary concoction that makes you feel marginally more cool when you order it. Ordering a Double Double at “Timmy’s”, which is (unsurprisingly) named after a hockey player, gets you a coffee with two milks and two creams.
11. Molson Beer
For any normal beer connoisseur, Molson beer would definitely take some getting used to, because it’s not exactly quality. But thankfully, we’re all college students with super low standards, so its pretty par the course with American college staples.
Made from grapes that are frozen while still on the vine, icewine is unsurprisingly popular in the frigid Canadian climate. If you’re the kind of person who wears a beanie when it’s 50 degrees out, Canada unfortunately might not be the best place for you to move. The fact that we make wine wine from frozen grapes should give you a nice hint about how cold it gets in the winter. It may just be worth it to stick it out with a bad president for the next four years.
13. Bagged Milk
While this may seem like a myth, bagged milk is actually available at most grocery stores, and from personal experience, it’s pretty convenient. Your normal varieties of milk are all available in flexible, bag packaging, much like a bag of frozen peas, and Canadians usually have a pitcher that they keep the milk in while it is in use. It’s admittedly pretty weird, and you may just be better off sticking with the normal carton milk, which is also widely available.