No, we didn’t mishear these lyrics. This is for real, and we just don’t understand.
1. One Week – Barenaked Ladies
“Chickity China the Chinese chicken / You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin’.”
Yeah, pretty sure my brain just stopped tickin’ on that one.
2. Truffle Butter – Nicki Minaj feat. Drake and Lil Wayne
“Pretty ladies are you here? Truffle butter on your pussy.”
Wait, you’re gonna put it where? Beware: this is what truffle butter actually means.
3. Candy Shop – 50 Cent feat. Olivia
“Dance floor jam packed, hot as a teakettle.”
Well isn’t that lyrical genius.
4. Birthday Cake – Rihanna
“Imma make you my bitch / cake cake cake cake / cake cake cake cake / cake cake cake cake/ cake cake cake.”
Alright, we got it. Cake. But it’s not even your birthday and cake won’t make me your bitch, so…
5. Diced Pineapples – Rick Ross
“Diced pineapples talking diamonds by the jar.”
Am I missing something here?
6. Ice Cream Girl – Sean Kingston
“I don’t trust nobody named Frosty the snowman / Frosty oh where you at? / Now ice cream man.”
Did he just turn Frosty the Snowman into an ice cream man? Doesn’t that make him a cannibal? We’re with you on this one, Tay.
7. Summer Girls – LFO
“New Kids On The Block had a bunch of hits / Chinese food makes me sick.”
This New Kid on the Block doesn’t get it either.
8. The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonight – R.E.M.
“Baby, instant soup doesn’t really grab me / Today I need something more sub, sub, sub, substantial / A can of beans or black-eyed peas / Some Nescafe and ice cream / A candy bar, a falling star / Or a reading from Dr. Seuss.”
What is your diet? That shit ain’t substantial. Well, maybe Dr. Seuss is.
9. Rapper’s Delight – Sugarhill Gang
“Have you ever went over a friend’s house to eat and the food just ain’t no good? / I mean the macaroni’s soggy, the peas are mushed and the chicken tastes like wood.”
How ungrateful are you insulting their mother’s cooking? Also, how many times have you tasted wood?
10. I Love My Bitches – Rick Ross
“Am I really just a narcissist / Cause I wake up to a bowl of lobster bisque?”
No, you’re just a narcissist. The lobster bisque has nothing to do with it.
“Someone left the cake out in the rain / I don’t think that I can take it / Cause it took so long to bake it / And I’ll never have that recipe again.”
Why would you ever just leave a cake out in the rain? It’s called a fridge. Also, if you ever find that recipe, let me know.
But when it comes to obscure food references, we all know who the real winner is: Kanye West.
So we gave him his own list.
1. N*ggas In Paris (with Jay-Z) – Watch the Throne
“That shit cray, ain’t it jay? / What she order, fish filet?”
That makes no sense Kanye. No one orders that.
2. Gone feat. Consequence & Cam’Ron – Late Registration
“Says she wants diamonds, I took her to Ruby Tuesday / If we up in Fridays, I still have it my way.”
I’m pretty sure that’s Burger King, Sir.
3. We Don’t Care – The College Dropout
“To n*ggas money is homo, it’s hard to get straight, but we gon’ keep baking ‘til the day we get cake.”
There is more wrong with this lyric than right. #WTF.
4. Last Call – The College Dropout
“Killing y’all n*ggas on that lyrical shit / Mayonnaise colored Benz, I push Miracle Whips.”
Who doesn’t want a mayonnaise colored Benz? Perhaps with soy sauce colored interior?
5. Guilt Trip – Yeezus
“Blocka-blocka, blocka, blocka-blocka, blocka / Pour a little champagne, cranberry vodka.”
At least it rhymes. #KanyeShrug.