For a grocery store, Whole Foods can be a surprisingly hostile place. Dealing with pushy customers, cleaning their messes, answering their questions, and trying to appease their requests takes a lot out of the average WF employee. So patrons, avoid doing these ten things if you want to stay in their good graces.
1. Messing with the bulk.
Not labeling your stuff, trying to hide expensive quinoa in your white rice, sticking your hands into the container…There are so many things you can do wrong here. Don’t.
2. Talking on your cell phone.
Whether you’re in the middle of aisle six or checking out, talking on your cell phone almost always ends in path-blocking or your cashier asking “credit or debit?” ad infinitum.
3. Returning your half-used stuff.
The Whole Foods policy allows you to return an item you’re unsatisfied with at any point, even when it’s practically all gone. You’d be surprised how many people develop a sudden, life-threatening allergy to their soap 75% of the way through the bottle.
4. Going sample-crazy.
Oh, you’re taking samples for you and your three friends? Do these friends live in your stomach?
5. Being a grazer.
We see you eating half your hot bar meal before you even put it in the box. And then we have to smile and pretend we didn’t.
6. Complaining about prices.
The “Whole Foods? More like Whole Paycheck” joke is more than a little played out. Yes, packaged sushi is $2 a piece, but you chose the grocery store, remember? And FYI, employees don’t make the prices.
7. Remembering stuff mid-checkout.
You accidentally forgot the milk, fine. But after the fifth trip from the line to pick up items you “forgot,” your cashier (and probably the people around you) aren’t buying it.
8. “Miscounting” your items.
As an adult, you most likely know how to count to 10, aka the express line limit.
9. Obsessing over your brand.
WF carries a lot of stuff, but occasionally your specific brand of oil-free, fair-trade pesticide-free hummus just won’t be there. Let it go and come back tomorrow like everyone else.
10. Giving unsolicited life advice.
There’s a time and place when someone deserves a lecture on his/her life choices regarding nutrition, environmental ethics and stance on sprouted grains. It’s called hell, so cool it until you reach the underworld.