I was lucky enough to take a much-needed vacation this Spring Break with my three best friends from home. We ventured to a lovely all-inclusive resort in Cancun, Mexico called Dreams Puerto Aventuras. Prior to the trip there were mystical plans of hikes, finding other beaches, and possible excursions that we could explore while in the Gulf Coast. That changed the second we sat down at the bar.
As the drinking age continues to metaphorically lower as teenagers transition into slightly older teenagers, it is no secret that the best way to booze is to befriend the sacred keeper of liquor – el bartender. I cannot stress how important it is to chat up the bartender at any means necessary. You will not only get all of the bangs out of your many bucks, but wonderful conversation and insight into another culture. With this being said, here are some tips on how to get the most out of your all-inclusive experience.
1. Befriend every bartender
Tourism jobs account for nearly ten percent of Mexico’s workforce, validating the market as a top economic mogul. This being said, those who work at the resort most likely want you to have a great time – they want your business and they want you to come back. And I won’t hear otherwise after Edgar blew me away with the statement, “tequila is Mexican water.” Just, wow.
2. Order a mimosa every goddamn morning
Death’s glorious presence has never been more enticing than in the moment you wake from a 16-hour period to which your body has been circulating through five different liquors in various forms. But when you sit in the breakfast café promptly at around 10:30, still wearing your sunglasses inside, you better muscle out a “mimosa.” Or it’s like you didn’t even go to brunch.
3. Jump on every beach trampoline
You aren’t getting any younger. I literally jumped on a trampoline on the beach behind a Senor Frogs in Mexico while drinking a yard of margarita.
4. Order room service
Pictured above is room service delivered around 3:30 am by the lovely Yvette. This photograph sums up the marvelous fluidity to the concept of spring break in Mexico. For the all-inclusive price you pay, literally just have them come up with a plate of fries every hour.
So post-spring-breakers, we will miss eating chili sauce-soaked quesadilla corn chips at 11 in the morning. And nutella and mango crepes that were specifically designed for your hungover, lifeless body. And the tacos. God, the tacos. We may not always have Cancún, but we can sulk until next year.