If a corkscrew or a beer opener were not some of your first purchases when getting ready to go to college, then clearly you and I have different ideas about what it means “to go to college.” Most students own these useful tools, but who hasn’t found themselves at a college party with a bottle of wine and no wine opener?

Youtube and Google offer loads of different methods for opening a wine bottle without a corkscrew, but a lot of these techniques seem outrageous, and even dangerous. We decided to test these methods out, and we’ve ranked them first on the probability that the average college student will have the tool and second on the success of the method.

1. The Shoe Method

final

While this method seems the most ridiculous of the four, this was the only method that actually worked. All you need is a shoe, a sturdy wall and to whack hard.

2. Screw and Hammer

screw

While highly complex, this method was also pretty dangerous. We did extensive research on the proper way to insert the screw and how to pull it out using the hammer, and it was probably only by luck that we were able to yank the screw and cork out. Conclusion: only use this method if you are sober.

3. The Knife

knife

This method just doesn’t work. Don’t waste your time trying to insert the knife at the right angle or trying to twist the cork out at the right speed. This method is highly dangerous and will probably just leave you with a severed cork.

4. The Key

key

The only reason the key method was ranked below the knife method was due to the fact that we ended up with more severed corks. A key is more blunt than the knife, and thus is harder to insert. Regardless, though, this method is also pretty dangerous and may lead to someone poking his or herself in the eye.

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