New Year's Eve is meant for drinking champagne and making resolutions that you won't keep, but Mariah Carey's resolution should have been to stop embarrassing herself on stage. We have all done enough suffering through her countless Christmas performances, and no amount of alcohol was going to make her New Year's Eve performance any better.
Fortunately for her, there are a few foods and drinks that are even worse than her singing (and lip syncing). But, to be honest, even bad food and drinks can't drown out the sound of Mariah Carey's washed up career, although I'm here to try.1. Expired Milk
Milk isn't the only thing with an expiration date (because clearly Mariah Carey's career has expired). Just like expired milk, bad music can make you sick, so it's best to leave any expired things in 2016.
2. Warm Beer
College students can't really be picky about the beer they drink, but being warm definitely doesn't make it go down any easier — we only drink it because it's one of our only options. Just like people only listen to Mariah Carey because they want to see the New Year's Eve ball drop, sometimes, you have to suffer the bad to get some of the good.
3. Canned Tuna
It's never a good thing to be the kid eating tuna in class. I promise you, the kid next to you does not want to smell your lunch. No one should be exposed to the odor of your food or to the sound of Mariah's voice ever again.
4. SPAM
I don't understand why people are trying to upgrade SPAM to make it taste (even remotely) good. SPAM was created for people to eat during World War II, and it should have stopped being eaten after that. No amount of ingredients can spruce up this canned food, and no amount of auto-tune can fix Mariah Carey.
5. Brussels Sprouts
Being told I had to eat Brussels sprouts as a kid was as painful as listening to Mariah Carey on New Year's Eve. There are much better vegetable choices, and there are much better performers.
6. Mayonnaise
Mayonnaise is a topping with a weird consistency that can really ruin a good sandwich — just like a bad performance can really ruin a great celebration.
7. Raisin Cookies
Cookies with raisins don't taste that bad, but what puts them on this list is that they trick people into thinking that they are chocolate chip cookies. That's just not cool. I have had enough of lip syncing, sound problems, auto-tune, and "chocolate chips."
The foods on this list aren't getting any better in 2017 and neither are Mariah Carey's performances. She used to have a great voice, but I'm sorry to say it, just like these 7 foods and drinks, everything has an expiration date.