Ah, Oreo. That familiar cookie that seems to offer every flavor under the sun (whether we asked for it or not), goes perfectly with a glass of milk, and tastes just as delicious today as it did when you were a kid.
Once the news broke that Oreo had released a new mystery flavor, I just knew I had to try it for myself (especially because there’s a $50,000 prize for the correct guess). After tasting, sniffing, and asking others’ opinions, I have created a list of flavor theories that could very well match the Mystery Oreo’s.
Upon opening the package, my senses were overwhelmed with the strongest smell of artificial fruit. I won’t lie, this was one of the most unpleasant food smells I’ve ever come across and it immediately made me regret my decision to actually eat these.
After a few minutes of questioning whether or not I should try the Mystery Oreo, I finally caved and was unpleasantly surprised by an equally repulsive artificial fruit flavor. Based on my opinions and those of my fellow taste-testers, I have concluded that there could only be four possible flavors for this cookie.
1. Fruity Pebbles (or other fruity cereal)
The fake, fruity flavor almost immediately pointed to either Fruity Pebbles or Fruit Loops flavored creme. Who asked for a fruity cereal and chocolate combo? NOBODY.
2. Cereal Milk
The next, and arguably most nauseating, flavor theory is a cereal milk creme. That’s right, the milk leftover from your Fruit Loops breakfast smashed right between that chocolate cookie goodness. If you’re one of those people that enjoys drinking the leftover cereal milk, this cookie might be for you, but I’m definitely judging your choices.
3. Sweetheart Candies
The idea that the Mystery Oreo creme could be a Sweetheart Candy flavor was also tossed around, but this is strictly due to the smell alone. Why would Oreo want to ruin something as pure as Sweethearts? The question is beyond me, but whatever the answer, they should be stopped.
4. Flintstones Vitamins
Yep, you heard me. Those powdery, artificially flavored vitamins that you begged your parents to let you skip, infiltrating a flawless cookie. The chance of this actually being the Mystery flavor is slim, not to mention disgusting, but if there’s someone out there twisted enough to create a Watermelon Oreo, this flavor might not be as far out as we think.
Whether you’re an Oreo-lover or not, prepare to be disappointed by this flavor. There’s absolutely nothing appealing about a chocolate cookie with artificially-flavored fruity creme in the center. I’m not sure why someone thought the world needed this in the first place. My advice to you, Oreo, is if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.