Disney has officially come to their senses (lol jk, Disney, you’re perfect) and started making “live-action” princess movies, which means that our favorite leading ladies are experiencing the real world for the first time. In the real world, Prince Charming’s ego seems a little too inflated and his dramatics are far too much for a sensible princess to handle. Like all badass women, princesses get tired of the cruel world’s bullshit, and sometimes the only thing that can help them cope is a glass (or twelve) of the cheapest therapy money can buy—alcohol. Check out the list below to find out exactly what drink each princess would choose to wind down from her taxing, royal life.
Cinderella: Vodka Water Lime
If we’re being honest, Cinderella is as basic as princesses come. She has the waist of a seven-year-old boy, the hair color of a goddess and the kind demeanor of a literal saint. Though her life seems ideal, sometimes she just can’t keep up the “perfect princess” façade any longer and has to down a few VWLs to put on a good face for Gus Gus and company.
We all know that Mulan is the resident badass of the Disney princess community, so naturally her drink of choice is whiskey, on the rocks. After winning a war and earning the Chinese emperor’s total trust and gratitude, Mulan doesn’t have time to sit around sipping on fruity drinks all day. She’s already proven that she can beat the boys at their own game, so now she’s proving that she can outdrink them, too. Plus, growing out your hair after a botched haircut is a nightmare, so a little whiskey is perfect to dull the pain.
Belle loves roaming around the streets of Paris early in the morning, but she runs into some major d-bags once the “brunch” crowd starts waking up. Between dodging frantic moms pushing their snot-nosed kids in strollers to make their 11 a.m. reservation and avoiding dawdling dads with wandering eyes, Belle needs a few sips of a refreshing mimosa to tide her over until her next trip to the library.
Aurora (Sleeping Beauty): Absinthe
The next time you think you’re having a rough day, remember that Aurora was cursed to be killed by a spinning wheel and had an arranged marriage when she was about four hours old. With personal problems like these, the only way to dull her stresses is to take some pulls of absinthe. There’s a reason Aurora is almost always passed out…
Snow White: Redd’s Apple Ale
Any woman constantly surrounded by seven men deserves a little “me time,” and Snow White can’t help but indulge in her quiet walks through the forest every now and then. Though the solitude is much needed, Snow loves to carry a tall boy of Redd’s Apple Ale with her to make the stroll even more enjoyable. While her addiction to apple-flavored things seems strangely masochistic, Snow is too preoccupied with the fact that her future husband (aka the prince) can pull off lipstick better than she can. Happy drinking, girl.
Elsa: Frozen Marg
As a 20-something-young woman, Elsa juggles spending quality time with her sister, ruling an entire country and trying to meet a suitable young man to share the throne with her. During the day, Elsa plays out her role as the queen of Arendelle beautifully, but when the night falls, she’s off duty and ready to karaoke with the best of them. To unwind from a tough day being queen, Elsa needs to throw back a few frozen margaritas and belt out her best Whitney Houston.
Ariel: Strawberry Daiquiri
Even though she ended up marrying the cutest Disney prince of all time (don’t even try to argue with this statement), Ariel had to endure a lot of hardships to live her “happily ever after.” She literally had to sell her voice and pretend like walking on freshly grown legs was totally normal and comfortable. Now she has to live on land, totally separated from her family and somehow Prince Eric still doesn’t realize how much Ariel is sacrificing for him. Ariel deserves the biggest strawberry daiquiri her trinkets and thingamibobs can buy.
Yearning for more Disney? Thought so.