This election season has been one of the most polarizing and divisive times in modern US history. When talking about the future president, everyone is yelling at each other, and no one is having any fun. One thing that most Americans can agree on, is that we can't wait for this mess to be over. If you disagree, you're probably wrong.For most college students, this will be your first time voting in a presidential election. Many voters are highly disappointed with the two major-party candidates that we have produced. While you may not love either one, you can probably figure out that one candidate is better suited to be president than the other.
Without trying to make any insanely offensive statements, here is a roundup of some of the most common dining hall foods that would make a better president than Donald Trump ( and maybe, just maybe, this could help you decide who to vote for).
1. The Classic Grilled Cheese
Crispy on the outside, but a warm and gooey heart of gold, (golden, melted cheese that is). A good grilled cheese gives off comforting and homey vibes. What our country needs is a president like an awesome grilled cheese sandwich, someone who will stand tough on the outside,but still always be there for Americans, and I mean ALL Americans. Plus, the only artificial orange I like to see is processed cheese oozing out from between two slices of bread, not sprayed onto a man's face.
Fries before guys—am I right? But really, your favorite dining hall fries come in all shapes and sizes and truly promote diversity and acceptance like no one else. Shoestring, steak-cut, curly, smiley, or sweet, I don't discriminate. Like fries, we need a president to promote diversity and appreciation for people of all cultures, ethnicities, races, religions, gender identities, and sexual orientations.
3. Mexican Food Station
Taco bar? Quesadillas? Nachos? Rice and Beans? Burritos? The best days at the dining hall are the days with the Mexican food bar. None of this would be possible without our incredible neighbors to the south. Our country is founded on immigration and to restrict certain races from entering our country, especially our buds down the street, is just ridiculous. Even more ridiculous, is wanting to build a wall... Unless that wall is made out of tater-tots (and there is a well thought out plan on how to make these incredible nachos out of it).
4. International Food of the Week
Trying meals from a different culture every week is a great reminder of how important our international allies abroad are, (and how delicious their cuisine is). We need a president who will be able to practice diplomacy with our allies to help solve crucial global issues like climate change and fighting radical Islamic terror groups like ISIS. Good news is that I've heard one of the candidates already has some experience with that kind of thing.
Running late to your 8 am and eating cocoa puffs out of a travel mug? It's okay, we've all been there. Cereal would never judge you for that, and speaking of judging, the next president will be responsible for appointing a new justice (possibly three) to the Supreme Court. Do you want a president who will stand for equal rights, or one who will erase the progress made over the last couple hundred years?
6. Salad Bar
If we're being honest, dining hall salad bars aren't anything special. You won't find any organic kale or arugula here, and you're probably lucky to have spinach as an option over iceberg. While it may not be the most exciting meal option in the place, it's definitely a safe bet. There's absolutely nothing wrong with playing it safe sometimes, especially when that sometimes is deciding who you want to be in charge of the nuclear code.
So who would you want in charge of these decisions? A safe salad, or a temperamental man of unpredictability who has referred to the issue in this context: "I think, for me, nuclear is just the power, the devastation is very important to me." There is nothing devastating about salad. Disappointing maybe, but not devastating.
Like the popular dessert, America needs a president like Jell-O. We need someone who can bounce back from whatever hits them and not take their anger to Twitter. Celebrate the end of this insane election season with these Jell-O favorites.
While I wouldn't recommend writing in any of the "candidates" mentioned above on your ballot, I would highly encourage everyone eligible to go out an vote on November 8th. Voting is the greatest civil power we have and we should absolutely take advantage of that, especially in an election so close and so impactful on our generation. With this in mind, get out there and vote.