Even if you’re not super into horoscopes, you gotta admit – astrology content is fun. You know what else is fun? Watching people make food on TV. But if you’ve ever sat down to an episode of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives and thought to yourself, “Huh. I wonder which Food Network Star the literal stars would think I am?”, fear not, because you’re about to find out the answer.
Aries (March 21st-April 19th) – Ted Allen
Aries are known for their competitive nature, so that’s why you guys are repped by Ted Allen, the host of the Food Network competition Chopped. Ted Allen brings out the passion and drive in Chopped contestants, just like the way real-life Aries folk tend to inspire others to do their best.
If you’re looking for a good way to spend time with your friends and stay true to your Food Network Star Sign Rep, challenge your pals to the Ultimate Chopped Drinking Game.
Taurus (April 20th-May 20th) – Sandra Lee
Tauruses take everything head on, and Sandra Lee doesn’t hold back, especially when it comes to pouring drinks. Plus, Tauruses are known for being big procrastinators, so Lee’s show, Semi-Homemade, will probably come in clutch for all those Tauruses who put off going grocery shopping for fresh veggies.
Gemini (May 21st-June 20th) – Rachael Ray
Listen. Geminis are a divisive group. You either love ’em or you hate ’em. Similarly, you either love Rachel Ray or you hate her. If you’re a Gemini reading this, though, don’t worry: you’re definitely one of the good ones.
Cancer (June 21st-July 22nd) – Paula Deen
Congrats, Cancer, you’re Paula Deen, a Food Network classic. Cancers are known for being the nurturers. If you’re a Cancer, you’re probably the “mom friend” of your squad. Paula Deen is very Mom. She has a bunch of recipes that are literally titled as “Mom’s Homemade Pie” and things like that.
Leo (July 23rd-August 22nd) – Emeril Lagasse
Leos are loud, spicy, zesty people. They’re passionate, ambitious, and they’re always ready to “kick it up a notch.” Emeril is the master of zesty, and he stands out thanks to his classic catchphrase – “BAM!” Leos are sure to make it big in life, just like how Emeril made it big in the food world.
Virgo (August 23rd-September 22nd) – The Barefoot Contessa (AKA Ina Garten)
Virgos are analytical, precise, and will never settle for less than the best. That’s why you’re Ina Garten, who’s known for picking the ingredients that she knows will be the freshest: quality produce from local farmer’s markets. She’s also known for making intricate, beautiful spreads for her foods. Barefoot Contessa won’t settle for crappy ingredients, and neither would any Virgo.
Libra (September 23rd-October 22nd) – Giada De Laurentiis
Giada De Laurentiis just seems like the nicest lady. Just look at that warm, inviting smile. That’s why I picked her to rep Libras – because Libras are known for being kind, warm, and bubbly. So, Libras, maybe y’all ought to start serving up some classic Italian dishes just like Giada.
Scorpio (October 23rd-November 21st) – Guy Fieri
Fiery. Exciting. Loud. Sexy. Wild. All words that can describe the inimitable Guy Fieri. Oh, and Scorpios. So obviously, you Scorpios are just like beloved foodie Guy Fieri.
Sagittarius (November 22nd-December 21st) – The Pioneer Woman (AKA Ree Drummond)
Sagittariuses are big on adventure, so who better to represent you than Ree Drummond, AKA The Pioneer Woman? She travels all through the countryside searching for the best recipes, which is a very Sagittarius thing to do if you ask me.
Capricorn (December 22nd-January 19th) – Alton Brown
All right, let’s be honest. Capricorns are known for being “old souls,” which leads me to the conclusion that, regardless of age or gender, Capricorns are the dads of astrology signs. Every Capricorn I know has been a lover of dad jokes, dad bod, and dad rock.
And who, out of everyone on Food Network, is the dad-liest of them all? None other than Good Eats’ host, Alton Brown. But don’t worry, he’s a cool dad. He’s hip. He’s funny. And so are you.
Aquarius (January 20th-February 18th) – Marc Summers
You might know Marc Summers only as the host of Unwrapped, but if you’re an avid Food Network watcher, you’ve probably seen his newer show, Rewrapped (which is surprisingly also hosted by Joey Fatone). On that show, cooks are challenged to try and recreate a name brand food item, and then use that food item to make a brand new recipe.
Summers requires contestants to be innovative, creative food visionaries, and Aquariuses are known for having all those traits. Plus, Marc Summers seems like a nice, chill dude, and Aquariuses are the nicest, chillest of them all.
Pisces (February 19th-March 20th) – Jamie Oliver
Pisces are known for being spiritual and in tune with their own bodies, and Jamie Oliver’s recipes are specially curated to be healthy and good for you. Oliver isn’t going to serve you any food that’s going to upset your ~inner self~ (AKA your belly), just like how you, as a Pisces, are never going to go out of your way to serve up negativity.
Plus, Pisces are known for being extra charitable and selfless, and Jamie Oliver founded the Jamie Oliver Food Foundation, which aims to better educate people on food and change public policy so as to make healthy food more accessible.