Some say that Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. But, if you ask any Hopkins student, they’ll tell you that it’s Spring Fair.
Each day of Spring Fair is unique. Upperclassmen can vouch for the accuracy of this article. But, for freshmen who are about to embark on their first ever Spring Fair, read closely, take notes, and brace yourself for all the shenanigans that April 15th through 17th has in store.
Preparing Your Body
First, make sure to get a minimum of 6 hours of sleep every night for the three days leading up to Spring Fair. Then, crack open all your textbooks before Thursday evening to ensure that you have all your assignments finished in time. Well-rested and homework-free is the best and only way to take on Spring Fair.
Food, Glorious Food
Excitement fills the air when food stands begin setting up on the Freshmen Quad. Hopkins students are to food stands as Pavlov’s dogs are to the ringing of a bell. Within an instant, both are uncontrollably drooling.
Ready, Set, Drink
Classes are out and beer taps are on. Needless to say, you should already be halfway to the Beer Garden when the clock strikes 1:59 PM.
The HOP and Spring Fair Concert
This year’s concert line-up does not disappoint. Doors open at 5 PM, so while you will have to cut your time at Beer Garden a little short, it will be well worth it when Marian Hill, Shwayze, AND The Chainsmokers take the stage. Take a page from Ron Swanson’s book to make sure your dance moves also do not disappoint.
Wake up, Drink
Rise and shine because Spring Fair Day 2 waits for no one. Pop open some Andre and add just a splash of orange juice to give the appearance that drinking this early is acceptable.
Food Stands: Round 2
On the weekend of Spring Fair, calories simply cannot and do not count. What does that mean for you? Brave the “Chicken on Stick” line, run over and grab up an oversized funnel cake with heaping amounts of powdered sugar, and swing by Wild Bill’s for a large mug of soda to wash it all down.
A belly full of fried foods is the ideal base for drinking beer. So, for a second time make your way over to Beer Garden to enjoy some more of the local brews that the Spring Fair Beer Committee helped bring to our campus.
At this point, it’s been a long day. Just shut your eyes and let your body devote all of its energy to digesting so that you can take on tomorrow with 110%.
A Rude Awakening
Sunday morning you will come to the cruel realization that you are only human and your body is in fact not meant to consume that many fatty foods and alcoholic drinks.
Sunday is usually the day of rest. But not during Spring Fair. You may be inclined to take it easy but put your big girl panties on and suck it up so you can get to repeating all of Saturday’s craziness.
Sunday at 5 PM
And just like that, Spring Fair has come and gone. Classes will pick up on Monday as if nothing happened and it brings us one day closer to the end of the school year. At that point, let us take a moment of silence and try and find some comfort in the fact that the next Spring Fair is only 365 days away.