Getting invited into someone’s home is a real sign of admiration. Out of respect and as a way to thank them for their generosity, it is custom to bring a food or drink. While most people don’t expect this as much nowadays, it is certainly a sign of politeness, which can earn you brownie points if you’re trying to impress! Here’s a rough guide to what exactly you should be bringing, based on who invited you.

Your New Roommate

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Going to your new roommate’s place for the first time means seeing new town from a local’s perspective. The perfect thing to bring over their house would be something that only you can bring to them.. whether it be a specialty from a local bakery, a dish that only you have mastered, or a unique take on your new roommate’s favorite food. This thoughtful gesture would bring a little bit of your home into their home.

Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend

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When your relationship is new and they finally get the courage to invite you over to meet their family, bring over something you know bae’s gonna love. Their favorite dessert? Their favorite appetizer? Their favorite drink? Just knowing you thought of them in that way will make all of those tough family members swoon over you right after you walk through the door.

#SpoonTip: If your boyfriend or girlfriend invited you over to meet the parents for the first time, go above and beyond and bring something special, say, flowers for his/her mom? Talk about making a first impression. 

His/Her Parents

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It’s a completely different ball game when your significant other’s mom or dad invite you over. Getting that personal invitation really feels like you’re finally apart of the family. Bring your boo’s parents their favorite alcohol (if they drink). I know my boyfriend’s mom loves a good red wine, and his dad loves rye. Getting them something that they love not only shows that you pay attention to them, but also will definitely not go to waste.

A Family Friend

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When a family friend invites you over, ask them what it is you should bring. This kind of relationship is usually past the “you don’t have to bring anything but yourself!” phase. They’ll probably have you make an appetizer, dessert, or even a salad. Here would be a good opportunity to try one of the bookmarked recipes you’ve been saving. Your family friend would appreciate your effort, and let you know if it was a winner or not.

Your Co-Worker

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Unless your co-worker invited you to a holiday picnic, stick with booze. If it’s a new relationship and you’re unaware of their wine preferences: bring red if they’re older than you, white if they’re younger than you, and depending on the relationship, tequila if you’re the same age. You’ll be best friends in no time.

An Old Friend

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Reconnecting with an old friend means reminiscing about the good ‘ol days, while catching up on what you’ve both missed out on over the years. Of course you can just bring a bottle of his/her favorite boozy beverage. However, if you’re feeling adventurous, think back to a food memory you and your old friend have had, and bring it to their house. Maybe a time you cooked together, or a time you tried something new together. Bonding over food is the best way to bond, and what better way than over a memorable meal shared between two old friends?

Someone Who Lives Over 2 Hours Away

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Traveling far to someone’s house means that your gift needs to make it there in one piece. Bringing a stronger, sturdier dish is advisable so you don’t end up coming empty handed. If you’re feeling dessert, stick with a coffee cake or pie. If you’d rather bring a dish, stick to casserole, dip, or something that won’t make a mess in your car.

I hope this guide will help you decide what you should (and shouldn’t) bring to someone’s house. Just know that regardless of what you bring, the host will appreciate the gesture no matter what you decide. Being polite will always be in style.