It’s no secret Cal Poly students aren’t the hugest fans of campus dining (want to switch with us, UCLA dining?) It’s also no secret, though, that Cal Poly students love to eat…especially while under the influence. From engineers to business students, everyone at Cal Poly gets creative when it comes to food. We polled students from around campus and asked them about their best under the influence eats and food-related stories—read on for some late night snack-spiration from your collegiate peers (no wonder we’re the best in the west).
1. No Meal Plan, No Problem
“Found someone’s polycard at a frat party and instead of trying to find the owner, we decided to take our chances and try and buy the ultimate drunchie snack for the 4 of us—VG’s breakfast burritos. So we ended up at the checkout at VG’s with $40 worth of burritos, hoping this girl was going to pull through with plus dollars. Luckily she did, so s/o to her wherever she is. We returned the card to a VG’s worker shortly after finishing our burritos.”
“I wasn’t really down to hookup with the guy I was with, so I left him to walk to Subway by myself. The workers were laughing at me because they recognized me from the day before.”
“I was at Popeyes eating my fries, and I was eating them so fast I bit into my finger and it started bleeding…but I didn’t stop the bleeding until I finished my meal because I was hungry. They were good fries.”
4. BYOM (Bring Your Own Microwave)
“This one time I went to 7/11 and I was drunk and wanted taquitos really bad, so I asked the guy for some and he wouldn’t give them to me because they were still frozen. But I didn’t understand him, so I demanded that I still get my taquitos anyways. He eventually gave them to me and I was like ‘YESSSS,’ until I took a bite (in front of the store guy) and I was like ‘these are frozen…’ He then said something in a loud voice that I honestly do not remember. All I know is I found a microwave in 7/11 and told the guy, as I was microwaving my taquitos, that I would do it on my own, because I found a microwave that he didn’t want to tell me about. I was so happy leaving that 7/11. I then ate my taquitos in peace and stumbled my way home.”
5. The Better Type Of One Night Stand
“I woke up in an entire bag’s worth of tortilla chips all around me (and on me) and melted truffles in my purse…Not my finest.”
6. Three Second Rule, Right?
“We got home after a drunken night out and of course my roommate and I were starving so we decided to make potstickers. I got a large pan out and filled it with water and oil and put about 10 potstickers in to start cooking. Once they were cooked, I picked up the pan and proceeded to drop it all over our gross kitchen floor, not only burning myself but getting potstickers everywhere. But knowing our drunk selves, we still picked up the potstickers, washed them off and ate them all. Woke up the next morning, so many regrets.”
7. Flamin’ Good
“My roommate put hot cheetos in her mac and cheese then proceeded to eat 2 slodoco donuts.”
“One time, while super baked, I whipped up this pretty gourmet garlic, herby Sriracha Greek yogurt dip to go with some flaxseed crackers. My inner chef reached for the garlic powder, dill, parsley, ground black pepper, and Sriracha and mixed it all up. The amount of ingredients and flavors were just so right. It was magical. My friend thought it was the greatest thing ever—we still try to recreate it to this day!”
“One time my buddies and I went out on a late night mission to grub. Because it was so late we could only find a Micky-D’s that was open, which was perfect because there was a drive through and none of us wanted to have a personal encounter with anyone, granted the driver would have to man up and do it anyways.
I could not wait to start eating, food was being passed around and soon the car smelled of McDoubles and french fries. I indulged in a fry or two, then opened the main course, the hamburger. It looked so beautiful, in all its fat, cholesterol-packed goodness. I couldn’t help but smile and even let out a little chuckle because of how excited I was for it. It was only after the first bite that it all hit me. The explosion of flavor made me drop the burger and start to tear up. With each bite the water works increased until I was nearly bawling over a McDonald’s hamburger.
Let’s not forget my homies who filled the rest of the car. By the time I had finished one bite they were half way done. I guess, in that moment, I had shared something special with that burger, even though it was really just a McDouble. It was gone two minutes later, my eyes still red from the tears… or was it because I was high?”
10. Because How Else Do You Party?
“My friend went through this guy’s fridge mid-party and forced him to drop everything and make her a quesadilla…also took his ice cream and a spoon and ate it upstairs with some random girl while wearing his hat.”
11. Spice Up Your Night
“After some copious amounts of Colorado’s natural herb, my buddies and I made popcorn, seasoned with chili powder, butter, and ghost pepper salt. It was similar to breathing fire.”
12. The Best Things In Life Are Free
“After a night out, I decided to email the company that makes dino chicken nuggets professing my love for them and asking them to sponsor me when I’m famous…they ended up sending me a free tote bag and magnet.”
13. You Know You Love Me, XOXO, Nutella
“I came back from a party with a friend and we sat for an hour on my kitchen floor eating Nutella out of the container with spoons while watching just the opening music numbers for popular TV shows on Netflix. We ate the entire jar and then I made pancakes.”
14. It Was an “Accident”
“One time while I was at a friend’s house, there was a miscommunication so we accidentally ordered 4 pizzas from Fatte’s instead of 2. Poor delivery guy had to drive back and forth twice and we almost didn’t have enough money for the 3rd and 4th pizzas. We finished all the pizza between 4 people though, the munchies were very real.”
15. ‘Twas The Morning After 4/20…
“I guess I decided to make ravioli, because I woke up with raviolis everywhere…on my bed, in my sheets, and on me.”