As I sat in self-pity while watching The Bachelor, a reality show about a man (okay, a very attractive man) hoping to find love from 20 women, I wondered how the show could be better. What if these women were food items that resemble their personalities and physical characteristics? Warning: may cause a craving for your grandma’s Jell-O.
This is one of those foods that you leave the table to “go to the bathroom” and like fruitcake, when Jubilee comes on you know it is going to be a very uncomfortable scene that you may just need to “go to the bathroom.”
Amber: Strawberry Hard Candy
We see this candy everywhere, but we’re not really sure what it comes from. Sounds like Amber, who just keeps finding her way back on the show. No one likes her or hates her but like the candy, she is just kind of… there.
Twins: Nutty Bars
You just can’t separate the twins. They devote their whole lives to being together; it literally says twins for their occupation. You can’t just eat one of these nutty bars. You probably say to yourself that you will only eat one, but then the other disappears. Just like this chocolate bar, Emily couldn’t stay very long without her other half after her sister went home the week before.
Olivia: Big Mac
No other food do you have to open your mouth as wide for. The Big Mac has many layers, and Olivia does, too. No one really knows the true Olivia. She acts completely different around Ben than she does around the other girls on the show.
Becca: Your Grandma’s Jell-O Mold
The notorious dish at every grandparents’ house. You just can’t escape it, and you have to take some on your plate to be the polite, grateful grandchild you are. This has Becca written all over it. Becca has many recurrences on the show, and she’s ordinary and bland, just like this Jell-O.