Weddings mean free booze, unlimited food, dancing till wee hours of the morning and suiting up, literally. And everyone knows that no one does weddings as elaborate as us Indians.
Everything from the designer lehengas to the amazing traditions–be it stealing of the grooms shoes as they do in North India or the Kashi Yatra in South India where the groom is allowed to leave, because well, swag–is as elaborate as it can be.
One thing that remains constant though, is the unadulterated love for food. So where would you be found, if you attended a big fat Indian wedding? We list out the most common types of foodies found at almost all Indian weddings:
1. The Multitasker
This is the guy who will always be eating snacks at any given point during the wedding. He’s dancing and eating, talking and eating, and he even manages to get amazing pictures clicked while eating (yes, I’m jealous too).
By the time the buffet opens, this person is probably full with all the snacks, but he’ll still manage to stuff that last gulab jamun. Just one bite, okay?
2. The Carouser
Sire Alcoholic Anonymous is all about the good times.
This species is found exclusively at the bar striking nonsensical conversations with random people or at the dance floor thrusting to the beats of Disco Dancer. He’s also the go to guy to if you want to give a ‘spin’ to your orange juice.
You can’t blame him. After all, who doesn’t like free alcohol?
3. The Little Monsters
Kids at weddings are all about YOLO. They don’t care about the bride or the groom, the guests, the music, or about anything at all.
They’re only there at these weddings because their parents promised them ice cream. And that’s exactly where you’ll find them–at the dessert counter, being the adventurous foodies that they are. They are not scared to put chocolate sauce on their macaroni salad, mix sprite with their fruit juice or make some other insane food hybrids.
Ah well, as long as they’re not running around crashing and spilling their concoction on your 40,000 worth churidaar.
4. The Wannabe Vir Sanghvis
These are the aunties who, after watching 4 episodes of Hell’s Kitchen, consider themselves to be world class food critics.
“Dal makhni me namak kam hai”, “Rabri zaaada hi meethi hai. Chintu ki shaadi me better thi”–the list is never ending. These aunties are like high school cheerleaders. Whatever you do, you just can’t please them. So go ahead, you have my permission to judge them. They’re definitely judging you.
5. The Glutton
Now this person here knows the real point of weddings–the food. They will be the first person at the buffet table and will heap their plate with every edible thing before anybody else even manages to approach the counter.
The concept of taking a second serving is absolutely alien to them and as a result their plates will always be overflowing. These are the happiest people at weddings; apart from the groom’s best friend of course, who’s enjoying flirting his way to glory.
6. The Wedding Crasher
He’s in all your wedding pictures. He’s with the groom’s family. He’s with the bride’s family. He’s also on your Snapchat story. Who he is, you’ll never find out. Meet Mister Wedding Crasher.
All decked up and suave, he’s probably a college student bored with the same old hostel and canteen food. He’s best friends with The Glutton as his plate too is overflowing with food.
This foodie is not at all fussy. First the bar, then the snacks, then the buffet. He’ll eat anything and everything while managing to remain a mystery to the guests. The mystery which is also the life of the party.
Did you turn out to be The Glutton? Here’s more food for you: