Food: it's required for our survival, integral to our daily schedule, connected to our favorite memories, and yes, it's even part of our language.
Of course, this includes the usual debate over In n Out vs. Shake Shack and where we just had the most amazing fish tacos of all time, but we need to address one confusing part of the food dialogue once and for all: food idioms. You're better than these food idioms so stop using them.
1. "Sell like hotcakes"
First of all, the word "hotcakes" still makes me uneasy (aren't we just talking about pancakes?). Second, why a breakfast food? Did whoever came up with these sayings ever try to buy the newest iPhone? Or Beyoncé concert tickets?
2. "The apple of my eye"
Where exactly did an apple become a symbol for the most treasured person in your life? In some strange, horrible world where apples aren't available year round in monstrous quantities at every corner grocery store? No, thank you.
3. "Spill the beans"
Okay, the "spill" part makes sense, but... beans? I'm still trying to find some sort of hidden metaphorical connection between beans and secrets, but the real question is this—if you're not supposed to cry over spilled milk, do you also have to play it cool when your frijoles are all over the floor?
4. "Cut the cheese"/The Big Cheese
Why oh why do we use such a beautiful food to describe something so unappetizing? I mean, really, even the stinky cheeses didn't do anything to deserve this.
5. "Piece of cake"
How exactly did the humble slice of cake become the symbol for that which is easy and/or negligible? Eating a piece of cake sounds like a pretty effortless task, but you know what else is easy? Eating literally any other dessert, baked good, or carbohydrate.
6. "A tall glass of water"
Why not just say what you really mean: "Well, aren't you a large vessel filled with a transparent compound necessary for cellular function?" Oh that's right, because that would be weird.
7. "As Thick as Pea Soup"
You know, for all those millions of times when you need to describe something with a viscosity somewhere in between thicker water and nacho cheese.
The final verdict? As far as figures of food speech are concerned, these just aren't worth stirring the pot.