My favorite part of baking is sharing my end result. I have gotten to the point in my culinary journey where people genuinely trust that I will not poison them (or make something inedible). So, naturally I started to think about my past cooking experiences and I wondered how I could use my foodie knowledge to get a good laugh.
I came up with seven mean, but not too mean, food pranks that I could pull on my roommates if I was a “mean” friend. The odds of me actually performing any of these pranks is negative googolplex, but if you should feel so inclined, I wouldn’t judge.
1. Baker’s Chocolate
This is a light-hearted prank. For those of you who have never consumed or worked with Baker’s chocolate, there’s no sugar in it. Now, being a dark chocolate lover, I don’t mind bittersweet chocolate. However, Baker’s isn’t bittersweet, it’s just bitter. Replacing a regular Hershey’s bar with this chocolate could be a beautiful beginning to a prank-filled day.
2. Beef Jerky… For Dogs
This one is easy, but it only works if your prankee enjoys beef jerky. If they do, simply offer them some dog jerky instead. Don’t worry it won’t kill them, but it won’t taste good either.
When I was five years old, I went to a bridal shower and the bride’s sister offered me a slice of cake. She failed to mention, or notice herself, that she accidentally replaced the sugar for salt while mixing the batter. I was not the foodie I am today, but I knew what cake was supposed to taste like and that was not it.
As one can imagine, mixing up sugar and salt is an easy (and rookie) mistake to make. Imagine your roommate putting salt in their morning coffee or on top of their Cheerios. The possibilities are endless.
These last few are for you more advanced pranksters, but if you really want to get your roommates or relatives then these are for you.
4. Mashed Potato Ice Cream
Take your favorite homemade or store-bought mashed potatoes, freeze them for at least four hours and serve up a couple of scoops to your designated prankee. Just a heads up, you might have to run your scooper under hot water to make scooping the “ice cream” easier.
I recommend going the extra mile and serving your frozen taters with chocolate sauce and rainbow sprinkles, giving your sundae the full effect.
5. Chocolate Meatloaf
If you are uncomfortable tricking your friends and family into eating food that is worse than its counterpart, this joke is for you. Tell your loved ones that you will be serving them meatloaf for dinner. You can imagine how excited they will be to receive chocolate cake instead.
This is how you pull it off: bake a standard chocolate cake in a loaf pan (mimicking the loaf of meat). After it cools, top it with red icing (mimicking ketchup). A happy surprise and every child’s dream, cake for dinner.
6. Chocolate-Dipped, Soft-Boiled Eggs
Now that Easter’s over, all of the candy goes on sale. We all know the Cadbury creme eggs and while I am not personally a fan of them they do inspire a great food prank. Cadbury eggs look like a soft-boiled quail egg (dipped in chocolate), but it’s actually just sugar and chocolate. I mean, this candy is begging to be a prank.
Put three to four eggs in a small pot and cover them with cold water. Bring the pot to a boil, then remove from heat and cover for 10 minutes. Drain your eggs and put them into ice-cold water so they stop cooking. While the eggs are cooling, melt 3/4 cups of milk chocolate chips in the microwave. Start with 30 seconds and continue with 15-second increments until all the chips are melted.
Make sure you stir the chocolate between each increment. Remove the eggs from the water and peel them. Dry the eggs with a paper towel and carefully dip each egg in the melted chocolate, coating the entire thing. Set the eggs on a plate lined with parchment paper and put them in the fridge to set. After about 15 minutes your not-so-tasty treats will be ready.
7. Mayo Sauce
Fehttuchini Alfredo might be one of the richest and most fattening pasta dishes known to man, making it perfect for college students. Want to know how to make it even fattier? Make it with mayo.
This “recipe” was inspired by my sister’s study abroad experience in Chile. One night for dinner her host mother made pasta with white sauce. Confused by our American ways, she thought Alfredo sauce was mayonnaise. My sister will never forget that meal.
To scar your own loved ones for life, start by cooking some fehttuchini or spaghetti noodles according to the box directions. Then, drain the noodles and toss them in mayo. Bonus points if you over cook the noodles. The level of mush will not be able to be contained.
Happy pranking, you foodie fools.