Any loyal shopper knows that Whole Foods is more than just a grocery store. Some might even say it is closer to that of a spiritual journey. However, no matter how many times you go, certain things are bound to occur each time you set foot in your home away from home.
Putting on your “I hang out at cool, hip coffee shops” persona:
Yes, these glasses are prescription… Why?
Smiling like an idiot solely because being in Whole Foods is just that great:
*proceeds to cry tears of joy at the fresh pressed juice selection*
Spotting your future spouse:
Hey you, with the man bun. I see you checking out those parsnips… 😉
Blatantly stealing from the bulk section:
“Sir, are you aware that these are not for public consumption?”
Eating your body weight in cheese samples:
Not sure how I feel about it… let me try it five more times
Trying to come to terms with the existence of vegan mayonnaise:
Doesn’t this defeat the purpose of mayonnaise?
The heartbreak when they don’t have your favorite dish in the hot bar:
Circling the prepared food section at least 4 times:
Anticipating the bill like:
Is it too late now to say sorry (Mom)?
Realizing you drained your bank account on approximately 3 items:
However, despite this never-ending cycle, forever remaining the most loyal of customers. Stay classy, Whole Foods.