Every two years the Olympic Games give us a good reason not to do homework and instead watch sports events we would otherwise be incredibly bored with. Of course, no Olympics viewing session is complete without eating unhealthy food that will ensure that we never actually get to compete. With the games almost over, here is a list of nine foods to snack to while watching the closing ceremony on Sunday and wishing it was as warm here as it is in Sochi:
Onion Rings: The Russians had trouble opening their rings; hopefully your greasy fingers won’t have trouble opening yours.
Sour Grapes: For when you realize that all the American figure skaters are vastly over-hyped.
Gummy Bears: The bear is the only one of Sochi’s mascots that comes in gummy form.
Melted Snow: Because that is what 60 degree weather is doing to the snow at the Olympics. Drinking water is probably a safer alternative. Unless you’re in Sochi.
Hot Wings: Because apparently that’s what bobsledders carry in their pockets.
Chocolate Coins: You probably have them left over from the holidays, and they can help you pretend you’ve won gold.
Smoked Salmon: A Norwegian staple to celebrate the Nordic country’s only chance to shine.
Shaved Ice: If you’re not balanced enough to skate on it, then at least you can eat it.
Vodka: Russia’s number one drink. For best results serve straight, no ice. Not much different from water.