Mayonnaise is an emulsion of egg yolks, oil, and acid (typically lemon juice or vinegar). It has a white color, creamy texture and mild taste. But for such an un-intrusive and peaceful condiment it has sparked one of the most powerful debates in the western world. No other sandwich component has polarized to this extent; it is either worshiped or demonized, there is no middle ground.


Photo by Tim McCune

If you partake of the opinion that mayo is the most despicable goo ever bottled by man, GTFO of this article. GO. No one cares for your negativity, hater. If however, you have a special place in your heart for the dry-sammy-saver, prepare to have your mind B-L-O-W-N.

Polish. Mayonnaise. It’s an emulsion of egg yolks, oil and acid. “Wait, isn’t that the same as normal mayo?” No, it isn’t! Like most European products, Polish mayo uses higher-quality ingredients that contribute to an all around kick-ass product.

What am I talking about? I’m conveying to you the magical nature of a product that will make any dish it’s added to AH-amazingly better, without overpowering it. I am attempting to communicate you how this glorious condiment is SO GOOD, you can eat gobs of it on toast. ALONE.


Photo by Caroline McCune

Unburdened by a plethora of artificial chemicals, this gift from the heavens is left with an unadulterated flavor that puts the supermarkets squeeze bottle crap to shame. But the real secret to the superiority of Polish mayo, lies in the mustard.

“Mustard in mayo? I don’t even like mustard!” Well, you do now! This special mustard, along with a few other spices like black pepper, gives Polish mayo burst of flavor that somehow remains true to the subtle nature of mayonnaise.

I can rant for hours about the awesome power of Polish mayo, but no words can compare to the persuasive power of the actual experience. Most people do not eat mayo alone on crackers, but I made Spoon UVM do that anyway.

Overall there were no negative reviews. Even a few self-proclaimed mayo-naysayers  were impressed. It was ruled to be richer, earthier, almost creme-fraiche-like, and by far better than regular mayo.


Photo by Maddie Wilmes

If you really think you can’t handle the taste of Polish mayo head-on because it will make you see the face of God and cry tears of pure gold there are other ways to enjoy its majesty. Scoop it into a spinach and artichoke dip, mix it with ketchup and relish then dollop it on fries for DIY animal-style fries, or make a mac n’ cheese so good even Thomas Jefferson wouldn’t share (I won’t explain that reference, either Google it or accept the fact you are a bad patriot).


Photo courtesy of Joo-Youn on Flickr

And so I firmly urge you, mayo-aficionados, to stop by your nearest Polish/Eastern European market and treat yo’self.


GIF by Caroline McCune