Be it a meatball sub, Philly cheesesteak, grilled cheese, or a timeless PB&J; the way I see it, there’s a corresponding sex position for any method you choose to eat your favorite sandwich. In the unlikely (but possible) event that your mind has wondered about this phenomenon before, here are some suggestions!
Unaltered—The Sandwich
Photo courtesy of @evengeenvlees on Instagram
If you like your sandwiches to be left alone completely, and you like to sink your teeth into it as one single unit, you should try the sandwich. There’s nothing tricky about it (I’ve been told), but it may require some additional explanation… so Google it.
Sans crust—Doggy Style
Photo courtesy of @theaccidentaldomestic on Instagram
I think you might be a little bit picky, which is totally fine. No one is judging you, or at least I’m not. If I were you, doggy style would be my BFF.
Standard halves—Missionary
Photo courtesy of @panerabread on Instagram
You’re a simple kind of guy or gal. You’re into the classics, and there ain’t nothin’ wrong with that. Why fix what isn’t broken? Keep it traditional and balanced; missionary should be your go-to. I’m guessing you don’t need an explanation for this one.
Squares—Cowgirl
Photo courtesy of @tutusteaparties on Instagram
These cute mini squares are the tiniest bit more garnished than the standard halves, but not so much more that you aren’t into the simple things in life. So try the reciprocal of missionary. Namely, the cowgirl.
Triangles—Against the wall
Photo courtesy of @lam3huynh on Instagram
Geometry is the only math class I ever got an A in. Its complexity level is medium. In other words, you’re a little conservative, but that doesn’t mean you don’t like to spice it up every once in a while. Tri it (pun intended) against the wall, y’all.
Dipped in soup—In the hot tub
Photo courtesy of @k8bytheocean__
Currently craving Panera’s “You Pick 2” sandwich and soup combo? If you like to submerge your sandwich in soup when you eat it, you’ll like being submerged while you’re churning butter. It’s time to venture to the unknown sex world that exists outside of the bedroom and take it to the hot tub.
Sub—The seated wheelbarrow
Photo courtesy of @k8bytheocean__ on Instagram
So you’re a little fancy, that’s cool. You’d probably be down with the seated wheelbarrow. It may take a few attempts to get it right but just remember that practice makes perfect, young grasshoppa.
Panini—Italian Style
Photo courtesy of @yume_hijiri on Instagram
So you’re more than a little fancy, that’s cool too. Fun fact: the Italian word “panini” is actually plural and translates to sandwiches. “Panino” is the singular word that translates to sandwich, so when you say “I’ll have the panini, please…” It actually translates to: “I’ll have the sandwiches, please.” But never mind my pretentiousness. Chances are if you’re ordering a panini you’re into the finer things that this world has to offer, so give Italian style a shot.