“I may not be a housewife, but I am real.” Thank you, Bethenny Frankel, for those wise words. I wish I was being sarcastic, but I’m in too deep. Plus it probably is the best open liner the long-running realty series has had so far. Then there’s Kyle with “I’m from this town. I know what’s real and what’s fake.” Who knows, can any Beverly Hills native attest to that? We’re onto you, Richards.
Looking for one more reason to dive into the Real Housewives black hole? Other than e-mailing Bravo your tagline picks? Find out what you should choose for your next brunch outing based on your Housewife alter-ego.
Lisa Vanderpump: Poached egg with an English muffin
The queen of the Real Housewives franchise and its successful spin-off Vanderpump Rules, Lisa would be no less than the posh brunch of poached egg and an English muffin on the side. Throw a pot of tea in there and you’re welcome to Villa Rosa anytime.
Heather Dubrow: Soufflé and a side of berries
Literally nicknamed “Fancy Pants” since her debut season, if your gal is Heather Dubrow, than you too have some of the fancy pants gene as well. Embrace it and pamper yourself to soufflé. That side of berries is necessary for the Orange County touch.
Bethenny Frankel: Bagel with lox
Skinny Girl brunch anyone? Bagels may not be SG-approved, but what’s a brunch in NYC without their staple breakfast item? Plus, bonus points for the protein and those Omega-3 fatty acids in the lox.
LeeAnne Locken: Rainbow BEC sandwich
New and kind of crazy, if LeeAnne from Dallas is your spirit housewife, than you’d better hike it to find a rainbow bagel for that bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich. Or make your own, because that’s also something LeeAnne would do.
Cynthia Bailey: Chicken & Waffles
Our favorite Southern belle, Cynthia would approve of chicken & waffles with extra maple syrup on the side. You can’t get anything quite as up to par above the Mason-Dixon line, so let your Real Housewives pride flag fly, and road trip it to Atlanta for the real thing.
Kyle Richards: Eggs Benedict
What’s the RHOBH without Kyle Richards and her glamorous ways? And really, brunch is not brunch without eggs Benny on the menu.
Teresa Giudice: Chocolate Chip Pancakes
Never one to shy away from breaking the rules, chocolate chip pancakes matches Teresa’s rebel ways. They’re definitely not summer bod-approved, have enough sugar to last a week, and require zero Fs given. So in other words, Teresa would give you the thumbs up on this choice.
Andy Cohen: Alcohol
Not a Real Housewife per se, but the executive producer/mediator/honorary member keeps it real. If you’re like me, the best part of any reunion is his sass and endless side-eye. Really, you only watch for Andy, and you wake up for bottomless-only brunches.