On March 31, 2014, tragedy struck my previously fortunate life. How I Met Your Mother, the greatest show of all time, aired its series finale. Hearts broke all over the nation as the nine-year HIMYM run came to a close. There were many tears that night as I said goodbye to Ted, Lily, Marshall, Robin, and Barney between sips of Franzia.
In honor of the finale’s two year anniversary, I did what any television and food lover would do — I compiled a list of every food from HIMYM we wish we could binge-eat in memory of the genius, creative, and beloved series.
1. The Best Burger in New York
“This is God, speaking to us through food.” —Marshall Eriksen
One elusive New York burger joint serves such delicious food that it left both Marshall and Regis Philbin searching for the hole-in-the wall for several years. Such dedication makes me wonder what kind of juicy, seasoned, flavorful meat these burgers must consist of. Think Burgatory, but somehow better. Just imagining it will make your mouth water.
2. The TurTurkeyKey
“Ted, you violated a dead turkey with another dead turkey. Don’t let that be in vain.” —Robin Scherbatsky
Most of the group was heavily opposed to Ted’s idea of filling the Thanksgiving turkey with, not stuffing, but a smaller turkey. However, I give the guy an A+ for effort and creativity. For those crazy about Turkey Day, this could be the perfect dish to switch up your traditional meal.
3. The Robin Scherbatsky
“They named my drink after her. The Minnesota Tidal Wave.” —Marshall Eriksen
Marshall once invented a drink so good that MacLaren’s Pub put it permanently on the menu. Unfortunately, because Robin ordered it frequently, the pub named the cocktail after her instead. Made with coconut rum, peach schnapps, vanilla vodka, strawberry creme liqueur, cranberry juice, and Maraschino cherries, this drink sounds too delicious to pass up. No wonder Marshall wanted the credit for it.
“We went through a whole case of Tantrum one trip. I was color-blind for two weeks after that.” —Marshall Eriksen and Ted Mosby
During college road trips, Marshall and Ted relied on Tantrum to get them through the long drive. This soda drink has the highest caffeine content available over the counter and was eventually discontinued by the FDA. Forget coffee, imagine what that level of caffeine could do for you during finals week. Tantrum could fuel at least three all-nighters in a row.
5. Marshall’s Gouda
“You guys are gonna wanna get in on this gouda. Seriously, don’t sleep on the gouda.” —Marshall Eriksen
Lily’s cooking skills are on point. She can whip up dishes us poor college kids could only dream of, and I’m talking fancy foods like seared scallops with mango chutney.
Before dinner parties, all Marshall is allowed do is pick out the cheese. He gets intense about his gouda during gatherings as a result, trying as hard as he can to shove the cheese down guests throats… literally. He becomes so passionate about cheese, in fact, that I can’t help but feel like I need to sample this gouda. Poor Marshall probably hand-selected the most expensive, delicious block in the store. Screw the mango chutney, gimme the gouda.
6. Stinson’s Hangover Fixer Elixir
“The most effective post-bender, head’s-too-tender ender from here to Denver” —Barney Stinson
Saturday night bar hopping did you in after that beer, then that glass of wine, then those mixed drinks (what’s that they say about beer before liquor?). This beverage has worked wonders for each member of the gang when they needed to rally, but couldn’t quite fight the pounding headache.
It was later revealed by Barney Stinson himself to be a placebo, or as he says, a place-BRO. Despite the drink’s lack of real healing powers, I’m sure many college kids would still love to give it a try come Sunday morning.
7. Sumbitch Cookies
“You just took a cookie from a complete stranger on a train. There could be drugs or poison in there.” —The Mother
Chocolate. Peanut butter. Caramel. These cookies sound absolutely heavenly. Of course, our first real encounter with The Mother reveals her as an amazing cookie-baking angel. Could she be any more perfect? I wish I could’ve gotten my hands on four dozen of these bad boys to dunk in my wine during the HIMYM season finale.
Bonus: The Liberty Bell
“I bet nobody in history has ever licked the Liberty Bell.” —Barney Stinson
This one definitely is not food, and I would not recommend eating it. But who could forget the time that Barney coaxed Ted into a legendary adventure that entailed licking the Liberty Bell? Licking the Bell has apparently become a phenomenon, and pictures all over the Internet show people doing just that. Honestly, given the opportunity, I don’t think I would be able to turn it down in honor of How I Met Your Mother, no matter how gross.