We all can admit to sneaking a cookie (or three…) out of the dining hall. While some of us are swift enough to bypass the dining hall staff, others not so much. Here are some hilarious dining hall stories, from anonymous U of M students.
From a Milk-Loving Student:
“Ok so I really enjoy drinking milk. I like to fill up two half gallons of milk – one white, one chocolate – to put in my refrigerator for when when the dining hall isn’t open or I just want to enjoy some oh so refreshing milk. I am always careful to avoid the adult employees (blue shirts) as they might be upset. Plenty of times though I have had student employees be perfectly ok with me filling up my jugs or even congratulate me (because they know the struggle is real).
So one time when I was filling up my milk I saw a student employee approach when I was almost done filling up one half gallon. I wasn’t too concerned. She told me I had to stop, and while I was surprised, I thought I could outwit her and went to the other side of the dining hall to fill up my chocolate milk. I did, but she found me and completely ERUPTED, “Are you *expletive* kidding me?…You have stolen almost a gallon of milk from the dining hall. That is completely unacceptable. If I catch you doing this again I am going to tell someone.” At this point I am absolutely flabbergasted. I paid for a UNLIMITED meal plan for a reason…Needless to say she hasn’t caught me again (and not because I haven’t been taking milk).”
From an Apple Hoarder:
“I was about to walk out of North Quad with four apples but the dining hall staff stopped me and told me I had to eat them all inside or else put them back. I took all four back to my table and ate two–then walked out with two more in my backpack. Mwahaha.”
From an Innocent Tea-Sipper:
“Last year I was in West Quad and was drinking chai tea out of a mug. I was distracted and talking to a friend and walked out of the dining hall with the mug in my hand…(honestly unintentional). The dining hall monitor literally chased me down the hall to get it back, and I ended up spilling my tea everywhere! Oops.”
From 37-Cookies-And-Counting:
“For some reason I thought it was a good idea to steal a ton of cookies in an obvious seating area. Lets just say it was hella awkward taking out and handing over 37 cookies from my backpack. They then took my school ID and did something (I don’t know what) to it, but from then on whenever I swiped into the dining hall the machine would give a weird beep…maybe alerting everyone that cookie stealing girl is on the premises? That hasn’t stopped me though.”
From a Silent Observer:
“I once saw a girl try to put an entire FULL loaf of bread from the PB&J station into her bag at Bursley. Naturally, she didn’t get away with it, and two of the managers sat down at her table and gave her this huge lecture about stealing food while everyone else in the dining hall just tried to eavesdrop.”
From a Bagel-Lover:
“I grabbed three bagels and I was walking out of the dining hall when one of the workers screamed at me to stop and she walked me over the trashcan and told me that we were only allowed to take one out of the dining hall. She then told me this time I could take two, so she made me throw away one of them and then gave me a speech about how my stealing bagels caused me to swipe in less which means less work for them and how that wasn’t right.”
From an ACTUAL Dining Hall Employee:
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“I sat next to a couple that must not have realized I was a [dining hall] worker. They were scheming to steal two full boxes of cereal. I waited for them to come back and the girl that was there put one box in her purse, but they didn’t have room for the other box, so the guy took it upon himself to take the bag out of the box and stick it in his pants. I let them get to the middle of the caf before I stopped them and the guy had to undo his pants in front of everyone to give me the bag.”