June 21, 2015 will be a beautiful day. All around America, dads will be waking up with huge grins on their faces because it is their day to shine. No, I’m not talking about National Peaches ‘N’ Cream Day or National Daylight Appreciation Day (yes, these are real holidays). I’m talking about Father’s Day, that magical date reserved specifically for the guys who may or may not be obsessed with Battle Star Galactica, obese cats, Apple products, and Johnny Depp-style glasses.
Oh wait, that might just be my dad.
But there is one thing that all dads have in common: they like to eat. And they like to eat weird stuff. So this Father’s Day, why not skip out on buying your pops the usual new gadget and instead whip him up some culinary masterpieces? For inspiration, here are five state-of-the-art dishes that my dad eats all day, erry day.
Disclaimer: This post is true, my dad likes these. But your dad might not. Please keep that in mind.
1. Cornflakes with Craisins
This classic will bring your pops back to his childhood, which will make him feel young again = bonus points for you. For dads who have a sweet tooth, the craisins add a nice kick.
My father explains his undying love for cornflakes: “They’re simple; have you looked at the ingredients? Corn. Sugar. Malt Flavor. Mmm. With cornflakes, you know what you’re getting – but only Kellogs. I only eat Kellogs.”
2. Decked-Out Pancakes
For my dad, Aunt Jemima pancakes + tons of cottage cheese + maple syrup = the perfect dinner. So gourmet! So many nutrients! It’s, like, basically all the food groups (maple syrup counts as fruit, right?).
My dad warns, “The only problem with eating pancakes is stopping eating pancakes.”
3. Peanut Butter Toast
What dad doesn’t love peanut butter or toast? Plus, this takes about 30 seconds to throw together, which your dad will appreciate because “anyone spends more than 10 minutes fixing dinner needs to get a life,” according to my wise father.
Wanna make your dad extra happy? Show him how to make this nutella peanut butter pretzel toast and he might just pass out from excitement (or high cholesterol).
4. Popcorn with Tomato Sauce
My dad used to make this a lot when he was a poor grad-student with a twisted imagination (for the record, he also swallowed a goldfish one time). My dad reports, “You make air popped popcorn. You pour some microwaved Ragu sauce on it. And next thing you know, you have a disgusting mess of something soggy and tomato-y.”
Mmm, sounds tasty.
All dads love their blenders. For example, my dad ate the same smoothie for dinner every night — for three years straight. You know, standard dad behavior. His explanation? “There’s nothing better than smoothie than more smoothie.”
This smoothie has cocoa powder, peanut butter and bananas in it, so your dad can pretend he’s drinking a milkshake when he’s actually drinking something (slightly) healthier. Genius.
Show your dad how to make these sophisticated dishes and he will surely appreciate it more than the Brookstone iGrill Bluetooth Grilling Thermometer or Pocket Projector Mobile (seriously, what even are these objects!?). Dads are silly and protective and wonderful, and sometimes they need just a little help in the kitchen. It’s not like they could come up with these ideas on their own, right?